Medically Speaking, Loneliness Is Just as Deadly as Smoking? So Yeah, You Could Say That I Like to Live on the Wild Side, Baby
Yeah, I’m the Leonardo Da frickin’ Vinci of avoiding meaningful human interactions.
Dan Caprera is a Chicago-based comedy writer who has written for the New York Times, the New Yorker, McSweeney's, Vulture, Weekly Humorist, Funny or Die, Slackjaw, and the New York Times Crossword Puzzle.
Yeah, I’m the Leonardo Da frickin’ Vinci of avoiding meaningful human interactions.
My terrifying, needle-wielding aunt who breaks into my bedroom nightly, holds me down, and then gives me thousands of vaccines while I'm sleeping.
Before my pen even outlines his dirty, filthy Dilbert clothing, I draw the Dilbert naked first. To preserve his essence. To preserve his purity.
Should horses be allowed to practice medicine? Here is a quick cost-benefit analysis.
Boy meets girl and it's love at first sight. They both go to grab the same latte, but they can't because their barista has been DEAD FOR THE PAST SIXTEEN YEARS.
Dear Broadway.com, sorry to bother you, but I’ve got a serious problem. Every time I Google the phrase “Wicked dubstep” I just get a bunch of awesome dubstep songs.
Are you ready to get spooked? Have you ever even HEARD of a scarecrow in the submarine?!
Trumps cameo in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York may only be three seconds, but its gut-bustingly laugh-larious. Seriously, its that funny.
Just last Thursday I was entertaining over 50,000 guests at my bi-weekly “Salute to Bear Traps,” which was meant to be just a fun, casual, and accident-free celebration. Oops.
Why would God deprive us of so many great opportunities, only to subsequently offer us lesser paths to success? Why would He do that? Perhaps there's an easier explanation.
Here are just a few of the many ways that I, Adam Duritz, lead singer of the Counting Crows, am equipped to run for president of the United States.
You shall witness a heart shape on the monitor, surrounding you and your beloved. And you shall kiss. For I have commanded it.