9:45 AM: “Talk to me,” I say, as I answer my phone.
It’s still early, but if the projections hold—and they should—Jimmy now sits comfortably at seven apples. Not a huge margin, but a significant one.
What Ben saw in Liz in line at Sweetgreen is what I see in America every single day.
All politicians want to have sex with Paul Rudd.
It’s pretty classic admin stuff. Answering the phone, filing documents, keeping a calendar, making appointments, refilling the Mayor’s water bowl.
Remember, you can always switch countries later, as long as the country you are switching to is not the USA.
As far as anyone here knows, we’re just one extremely handsome journalist and one extremely available woman sharing bruschetta.
We’re thinking of them, we’re discussing them, we’re writing them down, and yes, we will almost certainly be imposing them!
Cancel culture is holding back the next Great American Novel, groundbreaking works of political theory, and my Wednesday afternoon lunch.
I need your support to create an America where I, as President, never have to make direct eye-contact with any of you
What does democracy look like? This is what democracy looks like: it’s kind of pear-shaped.
Did You Know? "Stress Ball" is indirectly responsible for the death of ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛!