Politics | Points in Case

Tag: Politics

Original: Columbus routinely captured the people living there as slaves. Corrected: Columbus brought Western values to the New World.

They spent their golden years in the legislative branch. Why not let them spend their platinum years thinking they’re still there?

- By far the most popular style: crew cut. - You never imagined that one place could contain so many worn-out heels.

- I accept that most people aren't as smart as me. - My inner resilience will help me carry on no matter what “scientists” say.

Charlotte’s Web: After reading this pathetic book, I threw it from the top of the Duomo, where it landed upon and killed a Political Realist.

Tries to order hummus at every restaurant on the lunch rotation and when told they don’t have it, indignantly asks, “why not?”

The “Calling Your Mom a Bitch” Filibuster – If 41 senators do this at least one time, the vote is delayed for a fortnight.

You see, when I was fired from my job at Target for stealing money out of the register, it was actually a clever commentary on American capitalism.

The Hollywood Reporter – Horror: To Pelt Holy Weed Washington Post – Stashing Pot Now The New Yorker – Reek, Thy Owner

People have asked, "Braeden, how will you balance the immense responsibilities of being America's 57th Bachelor with running for the office?"

Now, I know how you feel about your mother giving you tips, but honey: he has a lifetime salary and great health insurance.