People I trusted to think through issues started quoting slogans I didn’t understand. “The dead are better off remaining dead,” they would say.
He’ll make sure every American has access to basic libido killers, like subscriptions to the Criterion Channel and graphic tees that say “Mommy’s Little Gamer.”
FAQs for Contestants on Netflix’s New Reality Dating Show, “Justice Is Blind,” Hosted by Clarence Thomas
Justice Is Blind follows Clarence Thomas in his delightfully romantic quest to find his new Billionaire Best Friend Forever.
- Let’s form our own special select committee - Please be my Majority Whip - We should move forward with a discharge petition
On the off chance that something goes wrong tonight, one bridesmaid is currently secured at an undisclosed location.
9:45 AM: “Talk to me,” I say, as I answer my phone.
It’s still early, but if the projections hold—and they should—Jimmy now sits comfortably at seven apples. Not a huge margin, but a significant one.
What Ben saw in Liz in line at Sweetgreen is what I see in America every single day.
All politicians want to have sex with Paul Rudd.
It’s pretty classic admin stuff. Answering the phone, filing documents, keeping a calendar, making appointments, refilling the Mayor’s water bowl.
Remember, you can always switch countries later, as long as the country you are switching to is not the USA.
As far as anyone here knows, we’re just one extremely handsome journalist and one extremely available woman sharing bruschetta.