I Am Your Bachelor, and I Am Also Running to Be Your Governor
People have asked, "Braeden, how will you balance the immense responsibilities of being America's 57th Bachelor with running for the office?"
Tag: Politics
Heather Ossoff’s Son Just Got Elected to the Senate—Maybe You Should Give Him a Call Some Time, Honey!
Now, I know how you feel about your mother giving you tips, but honey: he has a lifetime salary and great health insurance.
Let Me Help You with That “Epoch Times” Crossword
Let’s start with an easy one…. ah, 3-down: “Leader of the cult kidnapping our children and poisoning our liberties.” "Obama." Boom!
List: The Driving Habits, Beliefs, and Politics of People Who Own Teslas
Raquel bought her Model Y with the money she made as a risk-taker and thought leader for a leading brand of performance-enhancing energy bars.
List: Cuomo’s COVID-Safe Reopening Plan Expanded to All 2021 State-Recognized Holidays
May 5 – Cinco de Mayo: IVs previously containing live-saving antivirals and convalescent plasmas will be replaced with frozen margaritas.
List: Tenant Security Deposit Deductions for 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Item Removal Charge: 660 million expired, room temperature vaccine doses. Attached note: “SEND BACK. Already had virus!”
Russian Hackers Also Condemn the U.S. Government’s Weak Response to Their Recent Cyber Attack
Nobody likes working a job where their accomplishments go unrecognized or unnoticed, covert Russian hackers included.
List: “Reaching Across the Aisle to Better Ignore Your Base” Team-Building Itinerary
10:00 AM Icebreaker: Hot Potato – Toss the Responsibility of a Stimulus Package Back and Forth Without Letting It Touch the Ground or Help Anyone
Maybe the Real Stimulus Checks Were in Our Hearts All Along
I think the lesson is: the stimulus check isn't about being able to afford basic necessities. It's about reconnecting with a part of myself I lost.
Thank You, Government, But $600 Is Just Too Much Money for a Simple Man Like Me
I don't need nothin' special or luxurious. I am just a regular guy with simple tastes and One Dollar rent.
FAQ: Fact-Checking for New Conspiracy Theorists
Q: How can I tell if someone is trying to deceive me? A: Ever since my yoga teacher introduced me to QAnon I realized the importance of credibility.
I’m a Republican Building a Coalition with Democrats, and You Should Stop Worrying about Me Spending so Much Time with Your Wife
It’s been proven time and time again that this country thrives when we reach across the aisle, civilly shake hands, and give our wives their space.