“Democracy Will Perish Unless You Follow Me on Social Media”—A Note from Your Congressman
Did you see my tweet from this morning saying I take everyone’s concerns seriously, accompanied by a gif from The Office?
Tag: Politics
The U.S. Begs England to Take Them Back
It blows my mind that we used to be one country, isn’t that wild? But enough about me. Tell me what have you been up to?
We Are Cicadas Who Have Been Underground Since the Obama Administration
Now, front legs clasped, we surge skyward to a world replete with the bounties of over a decade of equality and universal healthcare!
Please Ban My Book, I Need the Exposure
Presales numbers are important to publishers, and a high-profile banishment is the 2024 version of an Oprah’s Book Club Sticker.
I Used to Be on the Left; Then They Laughed at My Forbidden Experiments
People I trusted to think through issues started quoting slogans I didn’t understand. “The dead are better off remaining dead,” they would say.
Finally, Some Representation for Virgins in Politics!
He’ll make sure every American has access to basic libido killers, like subscriptions to the Criterion Channel and graphic tees that say “Mommy’s Little Gamer.”
FAQs for Contestants on Netflix’s New Reality Dating Show, “Justice Is Blind,” Hosted by Clarence Thomas
Justice Is Blind follows Clarence Thomas in his delightfully romantic quest to find his new Billionaire Best Friend Forever.
Congressional Valentines Sure to Break Through the Divisiveness
- Let’s form our own special select committee - Please be my Majority Whip - We should move forward with a discharge petition
A Maid of Honor Delivers the State of the Union
On the off chance that something goes wrong tonight, one bridesmaid is currently secured at an undisclosed location.
My Typical Day in Washington DC, As Imagined by Aunt Susan
9:45 AM: “Talk to me,” I say, as I answer my phone.
Now Here’s MSNBC’s Steve Kornacki with Our Basic Math
It’s still early, but if the projections hold—and they should—Jimmy now sits comfortably at seven apples. Not a huge margin, but a significant one.
Let Me Use This Wedding Toast to Announce My Candidacy for President
What Ben saw in Liz in line at Sweetgreen is what I see in America every single day.