Finally, Some Representation for Virgins in Politics!
He’ll make sure every American has access to basic libido killers, like subscriptions to the Criterion Channel and graphic tees that say “Mommy’s Little Gamer.”
Tag: Politics
FAQs for Contestants on Netflix’s New Reality Dating Show, “Justice Is Blind,” Hosted by Clarence Thomas
Justice Is Blind follows Clarence Thomas in his delightfully romantic quest to find his new Billionaire Best Friend Forever.
Congressional Valentines Sure to Break Through the Divisiveness
- Let’s form our own special select committee - Please be my Majority Whip - We should move forward with a discharge petition
A Maid of Honor Delivers the State of the Union
On the off chance that something goes wrong tonight, one bridesmaid is currently secured at an undisclosed location.
My Typical Day in Washington DC, As Imagined by Aunt Susan
9:45 AM: “Talk to me,” I say, as I answer my phone.
Now Here’s MSNBC’s Steve Kornacki with Our Basic Math
It’s still early, but if the projections hold—and they should—Jimmy now sits comfortably at seven apples. Not a huge margin, but a significant one.
Let Me Use This Wedding Toast to Announce My Candidacy for President
What Ben saw in Liz in line at Sweetgreen is what I see in America every single day.
All Politicians Are the Same
All politicians want to have sex with Paul Rudd.
Your First Day Working in the Dog Mayor’s Office
It’s pretty classic admin stuff. Answering the phone, filing documents, keeping a calendar, making appointments, refilling the Mayor’s water bowl.
An Unfortunate Announcement Regarding Citizenship Downsizing
Remember, you can always switch countries later, as long as the country you are switching to is not the USA.
The Parking Garage Is Compromised, So How About We Trade Federal Secrets at La Romantica?
As far as anyone here knows, we’re just one extremely handsome journalist and one extremely available woman sharing bruschetta.
We’re Coming for Your Ill-Begotten Gains, Oligarchs!
We’re thinking of them, we’re discussing them, we’re writing them down, and yes, we will almost certainly be imposing them!