My Typical Day in Washington DC, As Imagined by Aunt Susan
9:45 AM: “Talk to me,” I say, as I answer my phone.
Tag: Politics
Now Here’s MSNBC’s Steve Kornacki with Our Basic Math
It’s still early, but if the projections hold—and they should—Jimmy now sits comfortably at seven apples. Not a huge margin, but a significant one.
Let Me Use This Wedding Toast to Announce My Candidacy for President
What Ben saw in Liz in line at Sweetgreen is what I see in America every single day.
All Politicians Are the Same
All politicians want to have sex with Paul Rudd.
Your First Day Working in the Dog Mayor’s Office
It’s pretty classic admin stuff. Answering the phone, filing documents, keeping a calendar, making appointments, refilling the Mayor’s water bowl.
An Unfortunate Announcement Regarding Citizenship Downsizing
Remember, you can always switch countries later, as long as the country you are switching to is not the USA.
The Parking Garage Is Compromised, So How About We Trade Federal Secrets at La Romantica?
As far as anyone here knows, we’re just one extremely handsome journalist and one extremely available woman sharing bruschetta.
We’re Coming for Your Ill-Begotten Gains, Oligarchs!
We’re thinking of them, we’re discussing them, we’re writing them down, and yes, we will almost certainly be imposing them!
Cancel Culture Is This Jar of Pickles I Can’t Open
Cancel culture is holding back the next Great American Novel, groundbreaking works of political theory, and my Wednesday afternoon lunch.
America, Please Elect Me as Our Country’s First Beta-Male President in 2024
I need your support to create an America where I, as President, never have to make direct eye-contact with any of you
Frequently Asked Questions About Our Fragile Democracy
What does democracy look like? This is what democracy looks like: it’s kind of pear-shaped.
Meet the Harlem Globetrotters of Redacted Documents!
Did You Know? "Stress Ball" is indirectly responsible for the death of ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛!