List: If Your Online Dates Texted Like Political Campaigns
Hey, Maggie, I’ll cut right to the chase. Please, Maggie, confirm that you’ll see me at Miller’s Tavern tonight at 8 p.m.
Hey, Maggie, I’ll cut right to the chase. Please, Maggie, confirm that you’ll see me at Miller’s Tavern tonight at 8 p.m.
Simon says please welcome the presidential candidates with any sort of noises you find appropriate—bearing in mind their last performance.
Every time I’ve been to a dinner party with our president, he sits next to my problematic uncle, and they talk practically in unison.
"Pups Go Camping" - The PAW Patrol round-up protestors, immigrants, and intellectuals to take to a mandatory camp in the woods.
JOE: Talene, it’s Joe. TALENE: I know :)) TALENE: it’s so good to hear from you TALENE: I feel like we kind of fell off a few nights ago....
Joe won’t end gas stations sometimes having bathrooms but sometimes definitely not, with no discernable reason why.
While there's lots of bad information out there about voting, you clearly aren't someone to fall for silly distractions. Right?
While you’re on your way to vote why not stop for a bite to eat? Hildie’s Roadside Café is pretty close to your polling place.
For four years we've turned a blind eye to the despicable actions Trump has taken. It's time we focus the discussion squarely on him for once.
“Chris,” I said, as a family of five wiped their shoes on his face. “What’re you doing here?” “Muhughuh,” he said, spitting out a piece of dogshit.
You like dark clothing and hate anything that smacks of hierarchy, unless it’s a revolutionary army. You’re a bit of an underdeveloped trope.
I only had a raging meltdown at the one other wedding ceremony I’ve attended, and that bitch I was marrying totally asked for it (I love my wife).