Suppressing information isn’t all Kafkaesque tedium: censors have fun, too! None more than the gang of editors known throughout the industry as the Harlem Globetrotters of Redacted Documents!
Strike up “Sweet Georgia Brown,” because here come the XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!
Lester “Stress Ball” Cxxxxxx!
Inspector Number: 194
Weight: 295 lbs.
Documents Intercepted: 32,839
Government Files Classified: 20,451
Personal Correspondence Screened: 3,277
Documents Shredded: 9,111
Favorite Food: Shrimp
If you’re looking for an inspiring story of overcoming adversity and alleged xxxxxxxxx ties, look no further than extraction sensation Stress Ball! Compliance is a part of life for SB: one of his earliest memories is of his xxxxxxx being vanished in the night!
Stress Ball holds a Bachelor of xxxxxx degree in xxxxxxxxxx from Yale xxxxxxxxx and began his career in xxxxxxxxxxxx in 19x5. He has been with xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx since the spring of 20x7 and looks forward to xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx his xxxxxxx to xxxxxxxxxxxxxx!
Did You Know? Stress Ball is indirectly responsible for the death of xxxxxxxxxxx!
Kent “PTOoooooh!” Fxxxxxxxxxxx!
Inspector Number: 83
Weight: 143 lbs.
Documents Intercepted: 83,717
Government Files Classified: 14,374
Personal Correspondence Screened: 28,117
Documents Shredded: 41,226
Favorite Measurement: Inch
PTOoooooh’s lightning-quick speed and merciless blue pencil aren’t the only tools he brings to the metaphorical operating room! PTOoooooh has also been directly involved in a number of xxxxxxxxxx, xxxxx, and xxxxxxxxx operations dating back to his adventures in xxxxxxxxxxx!
PTOoooooh earned his Bachelor of xxxxxx in xxxxxxxxxx education at xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx in xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. Prior to xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, PTOoooooh had 15 years’ experience working in xxxxxxxxxx for xxxxxxxx publications and also marketing xxxxxxxxxxxx for xxxxxxx throughout the xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx and Canada. PTOoooooh began xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx in 19x4 in xxxxxxxxxxxxx and then acquired his xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
In 19x8, he was once again classified as living and resumed his work xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx for xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx!
Did You Know? PTOoooooh! never needs change to make a phone call—he buys a disproportionately large number of “burner” phones with prepaid minutes each xxxxxxx!
Darrell “Coffee Pot” Mxxxx!
Inspector Number: 847
Weight: 182 lbs.
Documents Intercepted: 17,613
Government Files Classified: 9,184
Personal Correspondence Screened: 5,302
Documents Shredded: 3,127
Favorite Holiday: Easter
Coffee Pot joined xxxxxxxxxxxx after xxxxxxxxxxx documents for xxxxx officials and xxxxxxx businesses since 20x7! Coffee Pot earned his nickname in the office because of his tendency to make a fresh pot of coffee if there isn’t any in the break room!
Coffee Pot began his career in xxxxxxxxxxxx in 19x8. He has been with xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx since the spring of 20x0. He lives with his wife, Jamie, their three children (Maureen, Peter, and Robbie), and two dogs: xxxxxx and xxxxxxx!
Did You Know? The current Coffee Pot’s first assignment was in reference to the incident that ended the career of the original xxxxxx xxx!
Leslie “Shirley” Txxxxx!
Inspector Number: 943
Weight: 154 lbs.
Documents Intercepted: 2,372
Government Files Classified: 679
Personal Correspondence Screened: 959
Documents Shredded: 734
Favorite Music: Pandora
Shirley says her co-workers are not a xxxxxxxx family, though they do joke around a lot! “One time they acted like they didn’t know who I was and I was utterly, utterly terrified.”
Shirley is a self-proclaimed xxxxxxx and xxxxx aficionado. She began her career in xxxxxxxxxxx after escaping from xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx with Bachelors of xxxxxx in xxxxxx and xxxxxxxxxxx. She planned on killing xxxxxxxx, but xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, and went on to direct a xxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx and forced labor camp in xxxxxxxxxxxx for ten years before mailing herself back to the xxxxxxxxxxxxx mainland!
Did You Know? Shirley suffers from severe coulrophobia!
Leonard “Room 101” Wxxxxxxxx!
Inspector Number: 101
Weight: 246 lbs.
Documents Intercepted: 123,433
Government Files Classified: 47,889
Personal Correspondence Screened: 18,347
Documents Shredded: 57,197
Favorite Body of Water: Adriatic Sea
As one of the most efficient cleansers since the end of the Cold War, countless public figures and private citizens around the world have felt the irresistible power of Room 101’s red pen. Stoically xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, and maintaining xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx like a blind, unfeeling god, Room 101 has made his “mark” on more than six continents and is always up for a good barbeque!
Room 101 grew up xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx and earned his Doctorate in xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx at xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx in occupied xxxxxxxxxxxxxx. Prior to xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, Room 101 had over 25 years’ experience working in xxxxxxxxxxxx for xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. The “Prophet of Purge” began working at the xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx in 19x4 as a xxxxxxxxxxx in the xxxxx division. He was also xxxxxxxxxxxxxx at a xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. In 20x9, Room 101 took the position as the Grand Inquisitor of the xxxxxxxxxxxxxx for xxxxxxxxxxxxx.
He can be reached at xxxxxxxxxxxx or via email at firstname.lastname@example.org!
Did You Know? It is rumored that Room 101 may actually be the international criminal known as xxxxxxxxxx!
Let the xxxxxxxxxxx roll with authoritarianism’s No.xxxxxxxxxxx!