Human consciousness is a mystery that has befuddled mankind’s greatest thinkers—as well as some of its not-so-great thinkers—for thousands of years. As French philosopher René Descartes once said, “I think, therefore I am…” Unfortunately, he choked to death on a chicken bone before he was able to complete the thought, leaving us no closer to solving the mystery of the mind.

Here’s everything we think we know about thoughts.

What are thoughts?
A better question might be, What isn’t a thought? A basketball, for example? Not a thought. A skateboard? Not a thought. A dog? Still not a thought. A dog balancing a basketball on its nose while riding a skateboard? Now there’s a thought.

Where do thoughts come from?
Scientists can’t agree where, exactly, thoughts originate. Some say the brain, while others say the gut, especially when you haven’t eaten in a while. There are even those who believe that thoughts exist external to the body as tiny particles that enter our stream of consciousness via the nasal passages. Sometimes you can even see these so-called “thought particles” floating through the air, especially on a hot summer day in the park.

Is that why I always feel so congested in the summer? Because I’m stuffed up with thoughts?
Yep.

How many thoughts are there?
Human imagination is infinite! There’s truly no limit to the thoughts one can conjure up. That being said, most thoughts fall under four main categories:

  1. Thoughts about sex
  2. Thoughts about food
  3. Thoughts about death
  4. Thoughts about what your last meal would be on death row (steer clear of bone-in chicken unless you want to go out like your boy René)

How many thoughts does the average person have per day?
Most people have more than 6,000 thoughts in a given day. That’s roughly 250 thoughts per hour! To put that into perspective, that means you’ll experience no fewer than 750 thoughts throughout the runtime of a single Martin Scorsese movie, the majority of which will be about whether you’re actually enjoying the movie or if you just think you are because it’s a Martin Scorsese movie. (In case you’re wondering, those would all count as thoughts about death, since you’re contemplating how you’re spending your finite time on this planet.)

Does everyone think?
You may be surprised to learn that only a little over two thirds of the population (68%) is capable of formulating coherent thought. The other 32% are what’s known in psychological literature as “total airheads.”

Can animals think?
Yes, but animals think about one thing and one thing only: How to overthrow mankind. Also sex.

What’s a think tank?
Exactly what it sounds like: a tank, such as an empty fishbowl, that you place over your head when you want to block everything out and get down to some serious thinking. (Tip: Be sure to leave space at the bottom of the tank for thought particles to enter. And also so you don’t suffocate.)

Is it possible to control other people’s thoughts?
Not only is it possible, but it’s surprisingly easy, as most people don’t really want to think for themselves and will gladly give up the responsibility to the first person who seems to know what they’re talking about. Such power can either be used for bad (like by starting a death cult) or for good (like by starting a sex cult).

Can thoughts hurt you?
Mentally? Yes. Physically? Oh yeah.

Can thoughts kill you?
Of course not! Don’t be ridiculous! Unless, of course, you’re talking about chronic stress brought on by anxious thinking, which can lead to all sorts of serious health consequences, including high blood pressure, a weakened immune system, and an overall elevated risk of cardiovascular disease. In which case, yes, thoughts can (and most likely will) kill you.

Can you turn off your thoughts?
Unfortunately, no. Short of a black-market lobotomy, there is no way to put an end to the constant barrage of thoughts that filter through your mind/nasal passages every waking second of the day. Which means you’re trapped listening to your ceaseless internal chatter from now until the moment you’re mercifully released from the grips of consciousness in the form of sweet silent death.

Are dreams like sleep thoughts?
Yeah, pretty much.