Maximize Anxiety While Prepping for Your Annual Physical
4. Google, “What does sexually active mean?”
Tag: Stress
I’m Your Yoga Instructor and I’m Hitting on Some Weirdly Specific Things About You During This Class
Resist the urge to open your eyes and do a quick scan of the room, evaluating people’s yoga wear.
My Cryptic Social Media Posts Will Alarm and Confuse You
“Everything must come to an end.” Did I just tell you I’m dying, or that I finished The Legend of Zelda?
Why I, a 1960s Business Man Having an Affair, Believe Everyone Needs to Return to Office
Millennials and Gen Z don’t understand how valuable a sense of camaraderie is, or how important mistress time is.
Your Monthly Productivity Review
Time off task (12 minutes): Nerve sensors detected hunger prior to your lunch break. Hunger is personal time.
My Self-Driving Car Lets Me Focus On It Killing Me
Better to be in a state of terrified anxiety that your autopilot could end your life at any moment.
I Created the Flavor Profiles for This Craft Coffee Roastery, and I Definitely Didn’t Make Them All Up
I definitely didn't come up with the flavor profile for this roast after I bought Starburst at a Hudson News in the SeaTac Airport.
This Bowl Sure Is Getting Hot, Huh?
Now I’m halfway to the table, and this bowl is burning my fucking hands off.
Things I Mistakenly Thought Would Be Helpful During Our Baby’s Delivery Process
A pretty solid memory of that "Boy Meets World" episode where Cory’s mom gives birth to his younger brother.
5 Sleep Hacks to Help You Feel More Rested and Less Anxious About That Time You Accidentally Ran Over a Hitchhiker
Sleep hacks to help you wake up feeling rested, refreshed, and less dreadful about the eternal damnation of your soul.
I Am the Little Orange Man from Google Maps and I Would Appreciate It If You Stopped Dropping Me from 2 Million Feet in the Sky
If you’re wondering, in the moment you wait for me to land in Street View, I howl through the mesosphere, engulfed in flame.
You Should Quit Social Media Because You Are Being Pursued by a Hideous Creature of Your Own Making
People are buying your data. What people? Well, maybe not people in general, but definitely the hideous creature you created.