You’re Ready to Be a Parent, Aren’t You?
After living the bore of your nine-to-five stability, you’re ready for some extra, life-long, exciting (did I say “life-long”?) responsibility.
Tag: Stress
Don’t Even Think About Surgically Replacing Your Face with That of the Man Who Killed Your Son Without Buying My “Art of Speedboat Combat” DVD Box Set
Once you've put on his face, the propellers are in motion--in two days you'll be in a high-octane boat chase with the man who shot your beautiful boy.
List: Groupon Deals Tailored to Your Emotional Breakdown
Spend a luxurious evening in a gorgeous Four Seasons suite with an ex lover of your choosing. You passed right through denial and into anger.
If Your 2020 Campaign Ad Culminates in a Swell of Patriotic Music, I Will Vote for You
That’s it. No need to risk making promises you can’t keep or guarantee sweeping policy reform that is realistically unattainable in the short term.
My New Job Needs to Be Boyfriend Material
It's not that I’m afraid of commitment---I just don’t want to start something that’s not right for me.
Missed Connection: I Turned to Get a Wet Wipe, and My Elliptical Was Gone
And when I turned to find you, you were gone. How is that even possible? How could I fail to notice your location or distinguishing features?
I Fixed My Relationship by Registering My Boyfriend as an Emotional Support Animal
Brandon must now provide me with affection and companionship under penalty of Federal prosecution.
Various Life Crises You Will Undergo
Quarter of a Quarter Life Crisis: Age 6. You will cope by throwing tantrums before bedtime and refusing to share your trucks with Jeremy.
How to Absolutely and Utterly Bomb at an Open Mic
If you hear a man joke, “I’m a real feminist because I would never tell a woman to smile; I yell at them to frown,” then you’ve found the right crowd.
A Year of No
A friend finds an aggressive dog hiding under a car. She asks if we will take him in temporarily. I know I need to swallow my fear, so I say yes.