Things I Would Say to My Crush If I Woke Up Back in High School
"I didn't really think this one through. I'm stuck here in this pre-Y2K past. I now have homework again and two presentations next week!"
"I didn't really think this one through. I'm stuck here in this pre-Y2K past. I now have homework again and two presentations next week!"
Do I look like the life of the party? It took me a solid ninety minutes to work up the nerve to even step out onto the floor!
We offer employees (or Smash Testes Dummies as they’re known around here) a competitive salary of $2.50 an hour plus any tips!
What do you want me to say? That I'm sorry for sending an email when your mental energy is devoted to teaching during a pandemic? I am.
We find it helps take the pressure off the interviewee by keeping things light for the first 5-6 chats so we can decide if we even like them or not.
“Bite the bullet!” -- I am directing Rambo 6 and Sylvester Stallone is being very disobedient.
If in doubt, release a canary (oh, you should bring a canary) into a ventilation shaft and observe it carefully.
One credit card point can be worth 1.3 to 1.7 cents. I tried explaining this to my wife, but she was on a work call and I don’t think she really took it in.
Before your friend has the chance to say, “How’ve you been?” grab all three of you into a hug and take selfies.
The song’s not even that long. Like 25 lines tops. This shouldn’t be that hard. Why is it so hard?
- Your phone’s insistence that you can’t take pictures until you delete stuff. - Your phone’s refusal to agree that deleting 32 pictures was enough.
I will still go to the farmer’s market, but I will definitely be glancing at the sky and looking for anything that looks like it might crash into me.