There Can Be a Hundred People in a Room and Ninety-Nine Don’t Believe in You
There can be a hundred people in a hundred different rooms and none of them believe in you. Sometimes things just work out like that.
Author: Colin Heasley
I Will Continue to Block the Slide Until We Build a Wall Separating Our Recess from Mrs. Montgomery’s Class
Many have told me that there would not be a problem in the first place if I would just get out of the way. Unfortunately, that isn't how I see it.
Our New TaskBezos Offerings
Visual Processing (1/20th of a Second): Jeff Bezos will register a piece of visual information, sending it up the ocular pathway to the brain.
It Appears Your 2018 Ballot Has Erroneously Been Cast for Gritty, The Mascot of the Philadelphia Flyers
These events are particularly disturbing given that we do not know Gritty's political party, nor is he a resident of the state of Texas.
If You Awful Bros Vote Democratic You Can Call Me “F*ggot” Once, No Strings Attached
There's no catch, except that I'm going to be making sure you check each and every one of those little "D" boxes on your ballot, you hetero freaks.
5 Ballin’ Pieces of Job Search Advice Most Effective If You’re Tim Motherfucking Cook
Um, I don't know why anyone but Tim Cook is still reading this, but you should probably bottle up your excitement...
This Short Story Has Truly Tickled My Tinglewomble
So rarely is a short fiction necessary, but in times like these, reading pieces such as this truly massages my mimblelaxy.
Please Insert Your Chip Into the Card Reader
Please insert your chip into the card reader. Please please insert your card. Please please please. Please society. Please the machine. Chip card.
Mar-a-Lago Bath Bombs
Use the (Space) Force: Lavender, yuzu, and citrus form their own sixth military branch... mission: self-care!
Stern Letters From Health Inspectors to Musicians Who Sang About Food
Re: Truffle Butter. Dear Ms. Maraj et. al, We have looked up what this phrase means on Urban Dictionary, and we do not like it.