Getting a dog is a lot like gaining a frat brother: he’s always down to go out and rage, he’ll support and encourage you through all your bad decisions, and at some point he’ll lay in a hidden corner of your bedroom watching you bone your girlfriend.
Doctor: Good news. Your prostate is totally healthy.
Patient: Thanks! I’m going to be bringing in another one next week.
When I said I wanted to make the world a better place I meant better for myself.
— Daniel Gujic, @zvoncek5