Margo Bartlett | Points in Case

I worked at small newspapers, both daily and weekly, for 25 years. I still write, but the chairs are more comfortable.

Comedy Writing

Uranus: It’s a planet, but you don’t have to mention every last one. Say, “Earth, Jupiter, Saturn, Venus, Neptune, Mercury, Mars, and so on.”

- Your phone’s insistence that you can’t take pictures until you delete stuff. - Your phone’s refusal to agree that deleting 32 pictures was enough.

- Your resting face just seems to send hostile messages, is all. Are you saying no one has asked about this before? - Seriously?

When a store cashier asks if you found everything you need, it is against the law to say, ''No, I couldn't find granola with almonds and raisins.''

We don’t care about fingernails. Well, we kind of care that they’re clean, but we don’t file, buff, color, or cover them up with fake nails.

I will eat at a restaurant alone, as long as I can tell a friend to show up ten minutes after I’m seated and join me.

Irritable Parent: “I SAID, turn right. Am I doing this for my health? You wanted to get to 1862 Forestway Boulevard North"

Woody and Rayleen Blight / Joyfully announce the recent trade of their / Rusted, two-door Ford F150 for / A 2020 black, full-sized Dodge Ram pickup

Exposed to even one feral child, as many as 22 relatively domesticated children will revert to a state of nature by mid-morning recess.