You will be a person who, needing more room for books, never once thinks the words “bricks” or “boards.”
You can spend a fortune on a professional decorator, or you can hire us, We Do It With Dogs.
Lethargy, or complanata torporem, meaning “flattened by torpor.” Use this defense when you’re desperately late out the door because it’s a cold.
Letter from the Principal: Roosevelt Middle School Teachers, Avoid These Words for a Successful School Year
Uranus: It’s a planet, but you don’t have to mention every last one. Say, “Earth, Jupiter, Saturn, Venus, Neptune, Mercury, Mars, and so on.”
- Your phone’s insistence that you can’t take pictures until you delete stuff. - Your phone’s refusal to agree that deleting 32 pictures was enough.
- Your resting face just seems to send hostile messages, is all. Are you saying no one has asked about this before? - Seriously?
When a store cashier asks if you found everything you need, it is against the law to say, ''No, I couldn't find granola with almonds and raisins.''
We don’t care about fingernails. Well, we kind of care that they’re clean, but we don’t file, buff, color, or cover them up with fake nails.
I Promise to Do Something That Scares Me Every Day as Long as Minor Accommodations Are Made for My Safety and Well-Being
I will eat at a restaurant alone, as long as I can tell a friend to show up ten minutes after I’m seated and join me.
Irritable Parent: “I SAID, turn right. Am I doing this for my health? You wanted to get to 1862 Forestway Boulevard North"
Woody and Rayleen Blight / Joyfully announce the recent trade of their / Rusted, two-door Ford F150 for / A 2020 black, full-sized Dodge Ram pickup
Exposed to even one feral child, as many as 22 relatively domesticated children will revert to a state of nature by mid-morning recess.