1. The failure of your credit card to go through at the grocery store.
  2. The failure of your OTHER credit card to go through at the grocery store.
  3. Your phone’s insistence that you can’t take pictures until you delete a bunch of other stuff.
  4. Your phone’s refusal to agree that deleting 32 pictures was enough.
  5. Your phone’s complete indifference to your rage: You don’t have games! You don’t have music! You just want to take some pictures of your grandson’s birthday party! But nooooooooo. “No pictures for you!” says the phone.
  6. Your phone’s refusal to care about your threat to whack it against the edge of the birthday boy’s gift table.
  7. Your phone’s announcement that it also can’t open Twitter or Facebook because you have too much crap on here.
  8. The way your car engine whines when you drive faster than 40 miles per hour.
  9. The way the maintenance department at the dealership can’t hear the whine when you bring in the car.
  10. The way you can’t hear the whine either, though all the way over it was so loud you had to turn up the radio.
  11. Your difficulty in interpreting the directions on the DIY gas pump (Where do you press “No” for the car wash? Why is your card not coming out of the slot, even when you tug on it so hard you fall back against the side of your car and sock yourself in the chin with your own fist?).
  12. Your inability to lock the gas nozzle so you can clean the windshield while you fill the tank. Instead, you have to stand there using both hands to hold the nozzle trigger at the exact right place to let the fuel run. Your hands are shaking before the pump registers $2.12 of gas.
  13. The thread from the throw rug that’s tangled itself inextricably around the vacuum cleaner’s beater bar.
  14. The way the motor in the beater bar no longer runs.
  15. Your inability to pick up a piece of lint on the rug even after sweeping over it with so much force your husband asks if you’re all right.
  16. Your failure to figure out how to load Rocky and Bullwinkle into the DVD player so your granddaughter can watch six shows straight.
  17. Your attempts to describe the relationship between Mr. Peabody and Sherman without visuals.
  18. The fact that you sent an important attachment to your boss. Three times.
  19. No, four. Sorry.
  20. The way you pretend you understand when your boss suggests ways to tell that your browser is supported.
  21. The way the whine in your car engine is back.

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