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Chad Russell's picture

The Great Outdoors with Jesus Christ and Friends, Episode 3

Jesus and Bigfoot meeting

« Back to Episode 2

It's an exciting day here on location for episode three of "The Great Outdoors with Jesus Christ and Friends." We're at a very special little coffee shop in Marquette, Michigan where, to our great surprise, we've made an outstanding discovery: Bigfoot! Now, I know what you're thinking, loyal reader: "But Don Johnson last week you said we were going to go into the woods to search for a bigfoot..." Read More »

Robby Rothfeld's picture

Figuring Out the Origin of the Universe is a Waste of Time & Space

Big Bang Theory + Religion

I count on smart people to make my life easier and protect me from harm. They have their jobs, I have mine. So when smart people waste time on stupid tasks, it doesn't just bother me, it worries me. Read More »

Luke Strickler's picture

RE: 12 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Bread

Moldy bread face

Dear Luke Strickler,

Thank you for submitting your piece, "12 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Bread," to LaughSmack. Our editors have decided that it's not quite right for us, and would thank you never to submit anything ever again. Read More »

Jerry Landry's picture

I Shop at Target for the Hot Moms

Hot mom pushing a Target cart

Walmart has better prices. Kohl's has better selection. Target has hotter moms. If poetry could also smell like mid-priced perfume, it would be a hot mom shopping at Target. Read More »

Gavin Pitt's picture

Top 5 Sexiest Male Demons

Karl Urban as a sexy male demon

Yes folks, it's that time of year again. Pumpkins have holes cut in them to be abused by frat boys; candy is devoured without help from children's cartoon ads; and Jamie Lee Curtis locks and bolts her doors, takes her phone off the hook, and throws darts at a picture of John Carpenter. Read More »

Geoffrey Asmus's picture

Necessary Changes to Ready the NFL for the Coming Socialist Revolution

Dear Roger Goodell,

Greetings, comrade! I am Stanislav Petrov, editor of the highly esteemed Bolshevik Brunch pamphlet (attached for your reading pleasure). Read More »

T. E. Samad's picture

6 Historical Bans That Would Be Ridiculed Today

There are many things about yesteryear that boggle the mind, and remind us that the world we live in today is radically different from the world of the past. Long gone are ridiculously pompous words like "whence," "strengtheneth," and "assuageth." But these grammatical figments of the past aren't the only things that have thankfully departed from the world long ago. Oh no. Read More »

Luke Strickler's picture

8 Ways to Survive the Ebola Crisis

Ebola crisis masks

1. An Apple a Day

You've heard that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Well if that's true, then six a day will put him in another continent. Although, it's recommended you keep your doctor on the same landmass. Read More »

Mark Loper's picture

Bernard Has a Mole

Benign brown mole on neck

Bernard knew he had skin cancer. He knew, for a fact, he didn't have that mole on his neck a couple of weeks ago.

Well, he was pretty sure he didn't. Read More »

Zach Buckner's picture

No, Really, This is Fate We've Been on the Same Subway Before

Girl staring on NYC subway G train

You remember me, right? We made eye contact on the G train two months ago. I was wearing my somewhat-ironic DARE shirt, and you were wearing something that wasn't a DARE shirt, but still somewhat ironic. I think the appropriate word is "kitsch." No bells ringing? Read More »

Luke Strickler's picture

Movie Reviews of John and Bethany's Sex Tape

Girl on sex tape with night vision

"I felt that the director didn't really know what to do here. The choice of night vision lighting was a bold move to pair with the found footage style, but he never really seemed to tap into the spirit of the film. Although it's clear there's certainly some raw talent here, it needs to be given a good spit shine. Also, rocking bod, Beth." Read More »

Janet Eve Josselyn's picture

10 Things to Post on Facebook If You're a Total Dick

Matrix data behind a shredded Facebook logo

Whether you're on Facebook or not, if you've ever spent any time reading what people post there, you're probably familiar with the 10 things that make them look like total dicks. Here's what you should avoid posting unless you want people to think there's something seriously wrong with you. Read More »

James McDuff's picture

A Halfords Bicycle Nightmare

Halfords storefront

In England we have a cycling and auto parts store called Halfords. It's kind of like a downsized Walmart meets a downsized Home Depot and combines their most useful products, but only gets the latter's customers. There are no Mexicans or blacks in Halfords, so it's an ideal place to drink your coffee if you're a racist. Read More »

Edward F. Kennedy's picture

My Introduction to YMCA Summer Camp and Adult Penises

Retro YMCA neon sign

The old man's penis looked like Santa Claus' nose poking through a grayish, bushy beard. All the old men's penises looked like that. These were the first adult penises I had ever seen, and as an 8-year-old, it scared me enough to make me feel uncomfortable changing in locker rooms for the rest of my life. Read More »

William Franklin's picture

An Ode to Being Fat

Fat and happy man holding a hamburger up to his eye

Everyone has their preferred charity or cause they like to support, and mine is being 33.3% beer and batter by volume. Since eating and drinking are subjects very close to my cholesterol-choked heart, when I'm not busy planning a suicide Jackie Chan would be proud of, neglecting my family and friends, and being generally awful, I like to meet my weekly exercise quota by waving goodbye to the Domino's delivery guy. Read More »

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