I’m the Boyband Member Everyone Always Forgets
Honestly, I’m really totally fine being the one who gets his name mispronounced by a YouTube personality when we win an MTV Video Music Award.
I’m The Nation of India, and I Found Myself in America
I’m five things: IT, chai-tea, yoga, Bollywood and the Taj Mahal. These are the only things I’m known for, thanks to you, America, my dear friend.
The Girl Scout Cookies: Where Are They Now?
Thin Mint talks first. She looks healthy but is no longer the waifish figure from past boxes. Despite her added curves, she's lost none of her snap.
“Bro Code Insurance” is Here for All of Your After-Death Bro Needs
Who will have access to your computer after you pass on? Your girlfriend? Your niece? Your grandmother?
Michael Chabon Makes a Root Beer Float
With the precision of a casino dealer cutting a deck of cards, I scooped two large scoops of vanilla ice cream and put them into the frosty mug.
I’m Mike Pence and My Entire Existence is an Improv Scene Gone Awry
The man you know as "Mike Pence" doesn’t actually exist. I'm just a guy who never got tagged out of an improv scene from 1979.
Your Daily 20-Minute Workout to Prevent Demonic Possession
Can you feel that burn? Well, ignore it. That’s just one of the servants of Satan trying to enter your body through your navel.
Conditions Under Which President Trump Will Agree to an Interview with the Special Counsel
The President shall enjoy full immunity while patting his head and rubbing his stomach at the same time.
A Few Thoughts About That Video You Recorded After My Root Canal
I will be sure to keep you updated on all the social metrics. I still care about you, and the kids (our kids), and our social media numbers.
Finally, A Fantastic Cover Letter
I have also been told by several superiors that I have "a lot of potential," and that they'd like to see my potential "put to good use."
Recent Comedy
