Legends of the Hidden Temple Ruined My Life
By Marcus Terry on July 2nd, 2009The year was 1994. I was 12 years old. It was a summer I'd never forget and an event from which I would never recover. I got the call in August. After auditioning a couple months before, I'd almost forgotten about the show. But they called and said I'd made it. I'd be taping my episode in September. Read More »
Two Chinks in Batman's Armor
By Atlas Jobinson on June 27th, 2009Allow me to start by saying that Batman is the best superhero out there. This is obvious to anyone with a brain. He has no superhuman abilities, yet he still kicks ass.
That said, I have made two recent discoveries which have slightly, and only slightly, lessened Batman's reputation in my mind. The first such revelation occurred when I saw this comic strip: Read More »
A Step-by-Step Guide to Naming Your Penis and Testicles
By Alex Boonstra on June 24th, 2009Ahh yeah, The Brothers. The Twins. Your Sack O' Surprises. Whatever your pet name for your scrotum is, it is very important to you. After all, you've had your ball sack for nearly your entire life, and you know it better than any other person. Maybe it has a distinctive feature that deems it unique, like a mole or a freckle. Read More »
Eastern Medicine on a Western Man
By Jeremy Blutstein on June 20th, 2009Aside from writing, the only other thing I might be good at is being stressed out. I can be stressed about anything. If it's remotely unsettling, I can be stressed out about it. It could be something big like the CIA falsely accusing me, or something small like the way a girl on the street looked at me. You name it and I can be stressed out about it. Read More »
Stop Having Sex with Your High School Girlfriend
By Evan Lehrer on June 16th, 2009Yeah, I'm talking to you. You tool. You sycophant. You whelp. You coward. Go on and cry, I'll wait.... What am I talking about? That you—a guy in college—are going out with a high school chick. What. The. Fuck. Read More »
God's First Try
By Aaron Castellan on June 11th, 2009A long, long time ago God was all alone in the world. He lived alone, ate alone and drank alone. He had no friends, no followers, no believers—just himself and all the power in the universe. Read More »
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