My tuxedo-clad sperm steward Rene greeted me in French and explained, “All of our top grade sperme de France is aged to perfection."
If I Spend 3-4 Hours Writing and Editing This Article, Do You Think She Will Have Texted Me Back By Then?
What Michelle needs to realize is that I’m not here to waste my time. But until she texts back, that's exactly what I'll be doing.
Five tweets from Donald J. Trump that will satiate your internal yearning for coma-inducing cringe, or else shut down your computer.
Why does a beautiful girl like me only have 37 friends? Because I'm selective, that's why. Just click "confirm" already.
Whatever fancy stuff you’ve been told about the progression of aging, is in reality too complicated. The real lies in your AARP mail.
Every generation has their ups and downs, but each possess some rather noteworthy attributes all their own.
Soon I'll be eliminating all life on Earth, and there's nothing I can do to change course unfortunately. Any questions?
Combines superior audio quality, advanced technology, and sterling highlights from Michael Keaton’s nearly 40 years in Hollywood!
Mom, Dad, this is your official notice that you are no longer in charge of my childhood photos and videos. Please turn them over immediately.
I know you're busy with your groovy friends probably listening to rap music, but your old man just thought he'd check in!