Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes
Wrap yourself from the neck down in Saran Wrap, and then ask a friend to spray lukewarm water between you and the plastic with a garden hose.
Increased Risk for Age-Related Macular Degeneration / 100% Not NOT That Bitch / Likely photic sneeze reflex
Can you show me examples of crimes against humanity the organization has been working on? Would I be able to represent ISIS at industry conferences?
I enjoy exercising now, since I can levitate over the treadmill while watching Hulu on my phone. If my BF asks, I tell him it’s supernatural cardio.
I remain perplexed as to the genesis of Igor’s strong opinions regarding the choice of which cadaver shall provide the penis.
24 hours: A work acquaintance who could care less about my existence but whose validation I seek nonetheless.
“I pledge fealty to you, my Pumpkin Dad” is another great example of a gourd-geous caption being used by Fall fanatics everywhere.
Some of these are horses that made the turns and came out on top. Some are turns of phrase associated with a horse still in the running.
Fundamental Economy Lite: During pre-boarding, passengers may not sit at the gate and must instead loiter at the nearest Hudson News outlet.
Consider adding custom lace and sequins suggestive of gills and scales. Guests will soon forget the piles of rotting fish heaped on the shoreline.
The main responsibility of any dad in a restaurant is to spout off a consistent stream of comedy gold. So many antics!
“I’m absolutely sure that I’ve never cried this much in my entire life.” / “The day I went into physics class it was death.”