Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes
“I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.”
Assassination of Abraham Lincoln - April 15, 1865: Play is cancelled and Lincoln lives through his second term, pursuing a new urban chic look.
My baby teeth set in a silver box / A vial of the tears I cried every time he asked me for nudes after I kept saying no
Engage in an almost lyrical conversation about Laura Dern’s early work in Blue Velvet, noting its extreme qualities but necessary rise to canon.
You have such nice legs. I’m glad you’re finally wearing something that shows them off. / You didn’t even notice my new slacks. Do you like them?
Episode 4 – Karl Malone discovers the 3rd person POV literary device and begins using it in interviews. Stockton reinvigorates his Catholicism.
There’s no point in waking up with the sun salutation / I drift through the days of the week like a cloud pose / DoorDash warrior pose
Stretched to cover more area by upper management / Watches boss make the same mistakes day in and day out / Owned by Jeff Bezos
"The virus's signature blend of 23 flavors is truly unique, which is why it was clearly made in a Chinese military lab." -Dr. Pepper
Weak and easily preyed upon, the Sickly Spotted Woody Pecker has evolved to compensate for its innate physical disadvantages.
Shut Up: How Talking Makes It Harder to Communicate and Causes Large Fires / Dogs: They Were Puppies Once / Losers: The Real Winners, Who Lost
After “FROM:” on the name tags of all wedding gifts / Embroidered on all weighted blankets / Baked into the crust of all apple pies