Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes
Alternatives to “An Abundance of Caution”
If we do nothing, the oft-employed phrase may die of exhaustion. Why not try "a conglomeration of carefulness" or "a wealth of wariness"?
Funny Lists
Useful Quarantine Words in Other Languages
Ordemazão (Brazilian Portuguese) - Ordering a week's worth of pad see ew from the local Thai restaurant in order to meet their delivery minimum.
Chekhov Quotes, or Texts from Dad during a Global Pandemic?
There is nothing more awful, insulting, and depressing than banality. / We can’t watch Netflix if you’re already watching Netflix.
Things You Say When Trying to Get Your Partner to Give You an Orgasm, or When Trying to Get Your Toddler to Wash Their Hands?
No, you can’t go get a few toys. Last time you left them lying around and I had to clean them up. / Here, can I just… let me help you.
Other James Bond Titles
No Time to Die / I Don’t Wanna Die / Nobody Needs to Die, Here / Why Do You Have a Gun / You've Got the Wrong Person, Maybe
Opening Sentence Drafts for My Brand’s Coronavirus Email Blast
In these unprecedented times, / In these, let’s be real, horrifying times, / In these gay Oklahoman tiger overlord TV star times,
It’s a Quarantine You Lazy Ass, Get to Work
Paint a Fresco - Sure the prep list is a bitch and wet lime plaster is a bear of a medium, but can you think of a better time to tackle the job?
Ranking the Coronavirus Task Force Members from Least to Most Fuckable
Derek Kan - Can make a train in the bedroom run on time. / Anthony Fauci - This silver fox has a lot of time now that Grey’s Anatomy isn’t filming.
27 Ways to Age without Feeling Good about Yourself
Live life to the fullest by watching documentaries about it. / Feel comfortable in your own skin because it’s a little more saggy now.
Things My 16-Year-Old Is Capable and Seemingly Incapable of Doing
CAPABLE: Coordinating and implementing first person shooter strategy and tactics / SEEMINGLY INCAPABLE: Separating laundry
The Other 45 Ways to Leave Your Lover That Paul Simon Didn’t Want You to See
Be too into board games, James / Finally say how you really feel, Neil / Act like a slob, Rob / Cut them out of the will, Bill
Top 20 Google Searches of the European Renaissance
Flying machine release date / Signs thy husband doth disrobing thy house maid / How to disrobe thy house maid / Paintings of breasts nearith me