22. Robert Wilkie – He’s the kind of guy you see at a bar and pray that he doesn’t approach you.

21. Larry Kudlow – He can get all up in my stock portfolio, but I don’t want him anywhere near my nether regions.

20. Kelvin Drogemeier – Despite being a meteorologist, Kelvin fails to make it rain.

19. Robert Redfield – Surprisingly, he is not the lovechild of Roger Ailes and Harvey Weinstein.

18. Stephen Biegun – He comes from Russia with love, but he could never play James Bond.

17. Mike Pence – The hard part isn’t getting him into bed, it’s getting him into the room with you.

16. Deborah Birx – Nancy Reagan rose from the dead, but this time she cares about AIDS.

15. Alex Azar – Money can’t buy you class, and apparently it can’t buy you good hair plugs either.

14. Ben Carson – He’s never conscious enough to properly give consent.

13. Robert Blair – He’s only attractive if you look at him from the right.

12. Steven Mnuchin – Never learned cursive because he was too busy learning his way around a woman.

11. Derek Kan – Maybe he can make a train in the bedroom run on time.

10. Joel Szabat – This transportation administrator knows a thing or two about opening ports.

9. Anthony Fauci – This silver fox has a lot of time now that Grey’s Anatomy isn’t filming.

8. Ken Cuccinelli – Dye his hair and he could easily sneak liquor into prom.

7. Robert O’Brien – This former hostage negotiator knows how to use his tongue.

6. Joe Grogan – Don’t tell anyone, but he’s really Joe Rogan with a toupee.

5. Chris Liddell – As an avid rugby player, this guy likes it rough and dirty.

4. Stephen Hahn – It would be a privilege to have this oncologist feel my body, even if he’s looking for tumors.

3. Matthew Pottinger – This hunky ex-Marine was the inspiration for Taylor Swift’s Lover.

2. Seema Verma – If we make it out of this alive, expect to see her on the cover of Glamour.

1. Jerome Adams – The Surgeon General could operate on me anytime—but I’d want to stay awake so I could stare at his gorgeous face.


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