Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes
Phrases I’ve Heard from People I’ve Never Seen Again
Text me your name, so I have it in my phone! / How long have you been in New York? We have to get together!
Funny Lists
Woke Reboots for Classic Movies
T2: Non-Judgmental Acceptance Day / The Empire Respects the Will of the Populace / 10 Things I Respectfully Disapprove of About You
FAQ for Newly Hired CEOs Still Learning to Be Assholes
Should I comment on my employees' ethnicity? We recommend a "don't ask don't tell" policy. Everyone should be white in your eyes.
Rolling Stones Song, or Just Another Effect of Climate Change?
Fires Ablaze / Rain Fall Down / Carbon Dioxide High / Winter / Where Are All The Bees, Baby? / Another Polar Vortex
Planning on Eating the Rich? Here Are 15 Creative Recipes
Panko-Crusted Billionaire with a Brown Sugar Sweet Potato Souffle / Blueberry Muffins with Dark Truths about the Upper Class Chocolate Chips
What I Learned about Time Management from Binge-Watching Serial Killer Documentaries
Stay on Schedule - If you're a morning person, kill in the morning. If you're a night person, kill at night. Find a schedule and stick to it.
Human Infant Parenting Tips from the Year 3521
Clear your neural browser cache before interfacing with your child’s subconscious. Good neural hygiene begins in your own prefrontal cortex!
The Other People Elizabeth Warren Is Accused of Murdering, Besides Michael Bloomberg
Margaret Thatcher - Notice you haven’t heard a peep from her since April 8, 2013? Women can also be agents of the patriarchy, too, you know.
Bad Rent Week? There’s a German Word for That
Fetsfermönee - The act of drafting a tweet about selling pictures of your feet, then deleting it because your mother follows you.
Unpopular Options for the iPhone Morning Alarm Sound
Stoned college kids convincing themselves it’s really everyone else who is stoned / A yawn that never ends / Vomit splashing into a toilet
Low Ranking Drug Cartel Member or Girl Scout Selling Cookies?
Meet supplier to get product. Supplier got goods from distributor. Distributor doesn’t know you or want to. Don't ask questions, just sell.
Unsuccessful Proverbs About Bridesmaids
It’s a bridesmaid-eat-bridesmaid world. / Treat your friends like family and your family like bridesmaids. / Hate the bride, not the bridesmaid.