Baby crying on transatlantic flight

Meth-fueled intercourse in adjacent motel room

Chihuahuas yipping at a past-its-prime garbage truck

Someone with crippling TMJ eating a bag of old gummy bears

A car alarm that gradually becomes a middle school lecture on sex education

Stoned college kids “discovering” obvious truths known for millennia  (e.g. “You ever notice how a cloud is like rain, before it’s rain? Dude…”)

Stoned college kids convincing themselves it’s really everyone else who is stoned

A yawn that never ends

Mysterious scratching inside a nearby wall, as if something is trying to claw its way out

Sliced ham splattering against a mirror

A terminally ill cat moaning Bette Midler's “Wind Beneath My Wings”

Vomit splashing into a toilet

Vomit spattering onto a hardwood floor

A ballroom full of sorority sisters reacting to vomit spattering onto a hardwood floor

Flip flops on a hot tin roof

Coworker whistling in the hallway outside your office, as if he’s the only person who works there, and also he’s terrible at whistling

A prolonged laugh that never materializes beyond a throaty wheeze

Delicate Christmas ornaments dropping from a tree and shattering

A small child trying to get your attention with increasingly desperate uses of your first name


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