Baby crying on transatlantic flight
Meth-fueled intercourse in adjacent motel room
Chihuahuas yipping at a past-its-prime garbage truck
Someone with crippling TMJ eating a bag of old gummy bears
A car alarm that gradually becomes a middle school lecture on sex education
Stoned college kids “discovering” obvious truths known for millennia (e.g. “You ever notice how a cloud is like rain, before it’s rain? Dude…”)
Stoned college kids convincing themselves it’s really everyone else who is stoned
A yawn that never ends
Mysterious scratching inside a nearby wall, as if something is trying to claw its way out
Sliced ham splattering against a mirror
A terminally ill cat moaning Bette Midler's “Wind Beneath My Wings”
Vomit splashing into a toilet
Vomit spattering onto a hardwood floor
A ballroom full of sorority sisters reacting to vomit spattering onto a hardwood floor
Flip flops on a hot tin roof
Coworker whistling in the hallway outside your office, as if he’s the only person who works there, and also he’s terrible at whistling
A prolonged laugh that never materializes beyond a throaty wheeze
Delicate Christmas ornaments dropping from a tree and shattering
A small child trying to get your attention with increasingly desperate uses of your first name