Sleep

Tag: Sleep

Whatever your intolerable situation is, you’ve rightly decided to take a nice long coma until it all blows over.

The high school cafeteria comes into surreal focus.... Excellent! Loved high school!

The 2-Month Regression: Your baby is developing so fast! Too fast, actually.

Now, this is where it continues to not get interesting, so stay with me.

What, you think a masterwork like "Swamp at Dawn" just happens? You think I just leave my voice notes running in a swamp at dawn? You fool.

First up, we’ve got That Email You Sent Your Boss Last Week Regarding Your Upcoming Time Off.

How is it that my morning routine is simultaneously killing me while also helping me barely cling to dear life?

Nice place. Lovely sheets. Good shampoo. Someone kissed me in the middle of the night.

I’m a notorious 1850s Vaudeville impresario known as “The Dean of Mean.” My top rule for performers is “don’t be a snooze.”

That was dumb. You broke your toe on a cheap desk. Inhale. Clear your mind of that very stupid thing you did. Exhale. Stupid.

Let’s see. What else can we dredge up from the darkest recesses of your mind to totally fuck up your night?

Including "The Capable Ice Road Trucker" and "The Priest Who Challenged Me to a Rap Battle at My Nephew’s Baptism.”