The Pear Tree Inn Guestbook — Tell us how you enjoyed your stay!

Nights stayed: 2

Loved our stay. Nice place. Fridge comes fully stocked. There’s a man in the walls.

Nights stayed: 3

Great stay. Loved the buffet breakfast. In the middle of the night someone came and used our bathroom. We didn’t see them but we heard them come in and out of our bathroom maybe 15 or 20 times, flushing and coming back and flushing again. We don’t know if they were actually doing a full piss or shit each time or if they were just flushing for fun because we were too petrified to check.

Told reception and they said this activity with the toilets is normal when close to the equator. Then we said but we’re not close to the equator and she said well I don’t know what to tell you. We enjoyed our stay but this sort of thing is unfortunately a deal breaker for us.

Nights stayed: 4

Nice place. Lovely sheets. Good shampoo. Someone kissed me in the middle of the night. When I got out of bed no one was there but I know something happened because my lips were greasy.

When I tried to complain to reception they said maybe it was just my wife. I said that’s not possible I'm here alone and then reception made a face and said she wished someone would kiss her in the middle of the night. I reiterated I couldn’t stay if things like that were going to happen and she said well she couldn’t make any promises.

Like I said the sheets and shampoo were great but unfortunately, this is a one-star review due to the issue with the kiss.

Nights stayed: 1

Beautiful room. Soft sheets. I woke up with sopping wet pillows. I had a terrible night’s sleep. Not because of the pillows but because I heard loud scuttling coming from the walls all night. Because of this, I know that at 4 AM my pillows were bone dry but when I woke up again at 5.30 AM they were sopping, sopping wet. Like they had been dunked in the toilet. I think there is someone in the walls that did this to my pillows. I have to admit this is not something I have ever experienced before in my life.

When I mentioned to reception she made a face like “oh sure.” I feel like a crazy person. I traveled in for a work meeting that was supposed to be today but instead, I just drank vodka in the park. I am not a religious man, but today I felt truly far from God.

Nights stayed: 2

Beautiful stay. Nice staff. Someone was looking at me through the shower plughole. I was checking the jet functions of the shower due to my bad back so wasn’t naked thank god but the fact someone was looking at me through the plug is still a big no-no for me. When I saw him I quickly ran back and poured bleach down the plughole but there was no one there and then later I heard giggling coming from the walls.

When I raised these concerns with the reception she asked what time of day this was and I said it happened just now I wouldn’t wait to tell you something like this and then she muttered something like “well boys will be boys” and I said what did you say and she said none of your beeswax. When I told her about me pouring bleach down the plughole she got really crazy and screamed and hit me with her spiral notepad.

Again nice stay but I’m now paying for therapy.

Nights stayed: 7

Beautiful room. Lovely carpets. The woman from reception was breastfeeding a grown man in my bathroom. The man was pale and slippery and was resting on her knees like a baby. When I came in he ran. I tried to tackle him but he was too wet and slippery to catch like he was covered in butter. His mouth was full of her milk also like he was saving it for later. He was very quick but I managed to see him slide through a crack in the walls. The hysterical woman from reception tried to explain but I said something cool like, “hey save it for the judge!” When I said the judge thing she got very upset and put a biro through her neck.

Besides all this, I really did enjoy my stay. The police had to take my statement and then they fumigated the room. I don’t know what happened to the man.

Nights stayed: 10,220

Good room. Good walls. My mother is dead. I stay in Room 203 all of life. My makers leave me in room when I just baby. Mother find me, make me strong with milk. Make my bones grow bendy and strong like room service menu. When people come, Mother give me butter packets and I slip through crack. I hide in walls, sleep in walls. I watch people packing and unpacking, stealing tiny shampoo. I not understand why others come and go but I not leave. Mother tell me I am like hermit crab. She show me on Discovery Channel. She explain without me, Room 203 not special. Is just shell. I understand, Room 203 my home. But soon I grow curious, soon I have enough of tasting butter, I want taste mischief. I want live life and flush toilet and find girlfriend through plughole just like everyone else. I try make friends, but people mean, people not like me, people make Mother stick bic pen through throat. Now I on own. No milk. No room 203. But like Mother say, I am like hermit crab. I hide in luggage destined for White House. I find new wall. Then, I taste revenge.