Things I’d Rather Hear than the Constant Ringing in My Ears
- My nephew crying because I “stole” one of “his” cheese curds that I bought - Scraping claws as a monster that has haunted me since birth moves closer
Tag: Horror
Ten Little Monkeys, the Psychological Thriller
Mama called the Doctor and the Doctor said, “If this is some sort of prank call, it’s not funny. I’m a busy doctor helping patients with real problems.”
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Jekyll
I had been changed into the hideous Mister Jekyll. That’s right... I WAS NO LONGER A DOCTOR!!!
Just Because You Have Issues and I’m Murdering You Doesn’t Make This “Elevated Horror”
I’m sorry you have broader personal or political issues you haven’t resolved, but those have nothing to do with the ways I’ve been killing you guys.
Romantic Comedy or Horror Movie?
A woman realizes she’s in love with her best friend and vows to stop his wedding by any means necessary.
Horror Movie Fate or Ways My Italian-American Mother Thinks I Risk Accidental Death, Which Is Lurking Around Every Corner?
- That cut is going to get infected - Fuel leak recall from a car I don’t own
Letterboxd Reviews for the Accidental Livestream of My Trip to the Bathroom
★★★ Watched on the toilet. Very meta experience. Would recommend.
You Should Quit Social Media Because You Are Being Pursued by a Hideous Creature of Your Own Making
People are buying your data. What people? Well, maybe not people in general, but definitely the hideous creature you created.
Zillow Listing for the House from “The Blair Witch Project”
Admire the local artisanship on display, particularly the humanoid stick figures bound in twine looming overhead in the trees.
I Am the Menacing Voiceover from a Horror Movie Trailer and I’m Just Trying to Order a Pizza
MINDLESS EATING MACHINES, TO STRIKE TERROR INTO THE HEARTS OF MEN. FOR MAN IS THE WARMEST PLACE TO HIDE. For $2 more the pizzas come with extra cheese.
90 Years Later, Universal’s “Frankenstein” Remains a Poignant Tale of How Fucked Up It Would Be If There Was a Guy Whose Head Was Perfectly Flat on Top
Even today, when I see his head, my mind goes wild with possibilities, envisioning all the dirty dishes that I could set down upon it.
I Am the Self-Checkout Machine and I Want to Play a Game
Error: Place all scanned items in the bagging area, even the 50-pound bag of dog food. Figure it out. The rules of our game have been made very clear.