We’ll start with an easy one here to get this going: A Three-Hour Corporate PowerPoint Presentation with Required Participation.
May 5 – Cinco de Mayo: IVs previously containing live-saving antivirals and convalescent plasmas will be replaced with frozen margaritas.
I didn’t have a chance to respond as that monster of a machine came back around, running over a cardboard standup of Neo from "The Matrix."
An Open Letter to Fall Out Boy Regarding All the Incorrect Lyrics I’ve Been Singing for the Last Decade and a Half
Now, I’ll admit. I knew the words that I was singing were not in fact “words.” They were more like syllables strung together.
Compared to 2020’s real-life plague, threat of fascist coup, and so on, your work has suffered from a lack of terrifying imagination.
December 12: Santa's naughty list of Democrat-controlled cities where the most egregious instances of police brutality take place (uh oh; it's long).
With so much laughter and Vicodin flooding the streets during the daylight hours, powerful dream beasts emerge to rule the night.
"The rooms were comfortable, the food was exquisite and my husband and I had a glorious time in the pool until they released those piranhas.”
The Total Amount of Money in Each of Our Swear Jars Since 147 Chilean Rose Hair Tarantulas Invaded Our Home
Dining Room Swear Jar: $1 Dark Corner Of The Attic Swear Jar: $57 Home Office Swear Jar: $0
Instead of the usual ghouls chasing you through the hallways, this year's tour will offer you a respite from the ongoing horror show that is 2020.
You come into possession of 12-25 sample eye creams. Every few weeks you get another one. How do they get there? What do they do? No one knows.
Jigsaw sunk into a deep depression after realizing that no one is ever in the mood "to play a game" anymore, especially over Zoom.