A Series of Communiques from Your Former and Forever Meal Delivery Service
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Tag: Horror
Plot Summaries of Unpublished Monster Novels by Nobel Laureates
J. M. Coetzee: A boy who may or may not be Jesus battles racist zombies. Jean-Paul Sartre: Lucifer tricks a man into ordering a bad batch of escargots.
Visions I Had After Succumbing to the Madness That Befalls All Men Who Dare Drink the Milk of the Eldest Keebler Elf
If you are offered a chance to suckle at the teat of the eldest Keebler elf, I pray you heed my warning.
Financial Planning for the Jigsaw Killer
Three tricycles, $170.00? What does a man need with three tricycles? I’ve never once seen him exercise!
Corporate Team Building or “Saw” Trap?
We’ll start with an easy one here to get this going: A Three-Hour Corporate PowerPoint Presentation with Required Participation.
Cuomo’s COVID-Safe Reopening Plan Expanded to All 2021 State-Recognized Holidays
May 5 – Cinco de Mayo: IVs previously containing live-saving antivirals and convalescent plasmas will be replaced with frozen margaritas.
The Final Day of Blockbuster as Told by a Traumatized Employee
I didn’t have a chance to respond as that monster of a machine came back around, running over a cardboard standup of Neo from "The Matrix."
An Open Letter to Fall Out Boy Regarding All the Incorrect Lyrics I’ve Been Singing for the Last Decade and a Half
Now, I’ll admit. I knew the words that I was singing were not in fact “words.” They were more like syllables strung together.
An Open Letter to the Director of This Year’s Nightmares
Compared to 2020’s real-life plague, threat of fascist coup, and so on, your work has suffered from a lack of terrifying imagination.
The Official Badvent Calendar for 2020
December 12: Santa's naughty list of Democrat-controlled cities where the most egregious instances of police brutality take place (uh oh; it's long).
The Top 5 Sleep Paralysis Demons in Panama City Beach
With so much laughter and Vicodin flooding the streets during the daylight hours, powerful dream beasts emerge to rule the night.
Guestbook Comments from People Who Died at This B&B
"The rooms were comfortable, the food was exquisite and my husband and I had a glorious time in the pool until they released those piranhas.”