How to Look Like You Know Where You’re Going When You Clearly Don’t
Think something along the lines of “My oven is on!” or “I have a deadline to meet!” hold up your index finger in the air, and abruptly turn around.
Writer, comedian, and Goldfish Cracker aficionado who, despite all of this, has recently learned she has trouble spelling "aficionado."
Think something along the lines of “My oven is on!” or “I have a deadline to meet!” hold up your index finger in the air, and abruptly turn around.
Journal entries dissecting a previous relationship / Bad poetry / Concerns to share with doctor / Reminder to self to be more crafty
I’m disappointed that after our four-message exchange about how our weekends went, you haven’t proposed. It’s been almost a year, after all.
Me: So anyway, that’s why Jake and I aren’t talking anymore, because of that thing I said about Jason, and now it’s like where do I go from here, you know?
My Gynecologist: So, I’ll just mark “No” for sexually active then?
Make-up artist on Instagram live: So if you have any questions, leave them in the comments!
Me: *lowers hand*
“Rules are meant to be broken,” I whisper to myself as I leave my passionfruit tea bag in my mug several minutes past the recommended steeping time.