The 7 Absolute Worst Spinoff TV Shows This Fall
These are the network TV shows this fall that beg the question, "Are these network executives planning to seek professional help for their drug problems?"
Tag: Horror
Four Tips for Hosting Rosemary’s Baby Shower
Baby shower timing is important. Too late and Rosemary may be dead after the Antichrist rips out of her stomach. Too soon and she'll have no baby bump to sport!
Spiders are Ruining My Life
It's been another year living with severe arachnophobia. After an in-class incident with a spider, I realized that they are now personally fucking with my education.
8 Terrible Shows AMC is Guaranteed to Green-Light
AMC made a show about competitive taxidermy. Which means they will literally accept any show in the world. So here are my pitches for their next fall lineup.
The 10 Spookiest Scenes in Spoooky Movie History
Sometimes a movie's terror creates a vortex of fear that spins you until the force sends you flying off into the depths of the cold, lifeless abyss. Fuckin' shit's scary.
Time for Another Horrible Haircut at Sport Clips
It may never be a good haircut but at least it's cheap and involves hair getting cut. That is, if you can make it through all the trials and tribulations of the waiting room.
Three Shitty Products Masquerading as Food
When I think of food, I don't think of a rectangular chunk that looks like a gargoyle with a square asshole shit it out. Or a meal that looks like a bunch of scabs swimming in a puddle of whale semen.
Is Tyler the Creator the Next Osama bin Laden?
How do you explain a group of 18-60 assorted teenagers from California dispensing hardcore, destructive rap antics to thousands of American youth? New age terrorism.
U.S. Begins Hunt for Twin Towers Following bin Laden Death
Moments after announcing that American soliders had killed Osama bin Laden, President Barack Obama vowed to begin the search for the missing Twin Towers of the World Trade Center.
To the Manager of Motel 666: This Ghost Rape Will Not Stand
Dear Sir, I've been a tenant in the dumpster of your motel for two months now, and I can't take the constant brutal ghost rape anymore. I'm suing you for $100 million and a handjob.
The New Face of Terror
Haley's success in the role Englund made famous got me thinking about other famous monsters throughout the years.
7 Monster Nudie Date Movies That Might Get You Laid
Back in the 60’s adult films weren’t allowed to show pubes n’ peeps, but they could show boobies. When Harry Novak combined tits, ass, Frankenstein, Dracula in 1964 to make the immortal “Kiss Me Quick!”, the monster nudie was born.