1. Push a highly addictive product.

2. Have to be strict about inventory, otherwise pay dearly for losses.

3. Recruited at a young age.

4. Love badges!! You love badges that look like petals, and when sewn together look like a flower. Get one petal for every 5,000 boxes of thin mints sold. Fun!

5. Work for El Chapo.

6. Sometimes family members get hooked on the product. It’s awful and tragic to see your very own mother in the shadows of night desperately searching for a hit. But you know that at the end of the day, business is business and people are going to get hurt.

7. A larger operation calls the shots.

8. Meet supplier to get the product. Supplier got the goods from the distributor. Distributor doesn’t know you or want to. Don't ask questions, just sell.

9. A cook is required.

10. Must always meet quota. If not, your mother will scream, “ GODDAMNIT, I NEED TO SEE MY FLOOR AGAIN. YOU BETTER SELL ALL THESE BOXES AT SAFEWAY THIS WEEKEND!!!!” then whisper, “Leave the Do Si Dos.”

11. One word: LOYALTY.

12. Assigned to a specific neighborhood. Must not infringe on anyone else’s turf, because, well, you don't even want to know what will happen. The competition can be brutal.

13. Just an 11-year-old kid standing on a street corner hustling your merch.


Girl Scout: 4, 10
Cartel: 5
Both: 1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 12, 13


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