"Jeepers creepers! They're going to scratch the place up!"
I didn’t go to Tisch so I could buy cocaine for a lemur. Plus, lemurs need three times as much snow to get going.
Four hours into this will have you wishing you traded in the hallucinogenics for something with a little more parmesan and a little less cow dung.
Take the day off of work! The experience can take between nine and twelve hours.
List: Anagrams of Media Outlets That Reveal Their Sinister 420-Friendly Agenda, According to Newsmax’s Greg Kelly
The Hollywood Reporter – Horror: To Pelt Holy Weed Washington Post – Stashing Pot Now The New Yorker – Reek, Thy Owner
You realize you are alone and so is your spirit, crushing you with the existential terror that you are irreparably flawed at the cellular level.
Chess may be cool now, but it's still super hard. Here's a handy list of easier games you can play while you're high out of your mind.
I’m the Friend Who Gets Emotional When Drunk and Needs to Tell You Something in the Bathroom Right Now
Like, it's actually important, it will only take a second or 30 full minutes, time means nothing to me, I'm 7 shots deep and had lettuce for dinner.
They swear they make some sort of product here, but all you see is a lot of eating, prancing, and day drinking.
In these trying times, it may be harder than ever to tell exactly why you feel like total shit when you wake up in the morning.
Kids need to vent, and it’s likely a normal, natural response to having watched some other parent’s kid do drugs.
Meet supplier to get product. Supplier got goods from distributor. Distributor doesn’t know you or want to. Don't ask questions, just sell.