The Differences Between Going Abroad as a Tourist, a Backpacker, or a Traveler
Three examples of how self-imposed labels have personally defined my experiences abroad, from utterly tame to absolutely insane.
Tag: Drugs
If You Suffer From Moderate to Severe Arthritis, This Drug is Going to Change Your Goddamn Life
Ask your doctor if Gamora is right for you. If your doctor says it is, wow, that’s a pretty ballsy doctor you've got there. I mean, this shit can literally kill you.
Leaked Audio Transcript of Tom Hanks Celebrating the 23rd Anniversary of “Forrest Gump” on Magic Mushrooms
Disturbing and introspective audio from Tom Hanks' handheld recorder, sent to me anonymously in the form of time-stamped .wav files.
Is Your Child a Poser? Learn the Four Major Warning Signs
It's impossible to monitor your child 24/7, nor should you. But you should remain vigilant to certain signs so this epidemic doesn't affect your family's welfare.
How to Tell If Your Teen is on Drugs, Or Just the Dark Harbinger of Legend
Sure, you may be worried your teen has succumbed to the latest drug craze, but it's also likely he's just the apocalyptic repayment for centuries of evil and injustice.
Ultimate Dog®: Male Dog Enhancement to Get Those Bitches Howling!
ATTENTION BREEDERS! Ultimate Dog® can make ANY Dog a Horn Dog! Whether it’s a Lazy Bloodhound, or a Gay Chihuahua, your pedigree will be looking for pussy in no time flat!
A Father’s Guide to Gettin’ Busy with a Lady
I won't go into biological details, son, because that would just be awkward for both of us, but I really want you to understand that Gettin’ Down to Business is serious business.
Flying High in the Xanax Skies
Where was I? How high is high? Why was I sitting there? Had I been sleeping the whole time? Is all of life a dream, as Descartes once suggested?
Just Because I Hallucinated While Serving You Chinese Mall Food Doesn’t Make You Better Than Me
The moment you mispronounced "Szechuan chicken," all of reality froze as if someone had hit the pause button on existence.
Our Medication May Kill You, But It’s Not For Sure (Ok, It’s For Sure)
While this medication may be swallowed, it may also be used as a suppository, although after ingestion, please immediately finish your living will.
What’s With All the Junkies on Children’s Bikes?
Has anyone else noticed the new phenomenon of junkies on bikes? Usually children's bicycles that no one over age 12 could be comfortably riding.
The Crab Apples are Disrupting Music to Its Pretentious Core
David Peterson, The Crab Apples iconic lead singer, is a walking, talking contradiction. He is ignoring all his influences and pursing a psychedelic folksy revolution.