Sorry, I can’t, I’m doing drugs later with a different group of cooler kids.”

“The doctor said I couldn’t take those drugs because they might react with the special medication I’m on for my enormous penis.”

“Sorry, those drugs do nothing for me because I do newer, better drugs and I’ve built up a tolerance to your simple drugs.”

“I can’t, I’m headed to an invitation-only convention for cool teens, were you guys not invited?”

“I’d love to but I’m being drug tested tomorrow by the skateboarding committee because my kickflips were too rad.”

“My hot girlfriend said she isn’t attracted to guys who do drugs. She also said you shouldn’t do drugs and you should be home by 7 tonight for dinner because my girlfriend is your mom is what I’m saying.”

“You guys sure have a lot of drugs, and you’re just offering them to me? Sounds a lot like a setup. Nice try, cops! You can take off your wires now.”

“I’m actually already on drugs I got from some other kids that go to a different school. You don’t know these drugs because they’re from Canada.”

“You guys still do drugs? Did you see what happened to Zendaya’s character on Euphoria or, oh, you guys must only have standard streaming services like Hulu or something and you aren’t living to the Max (formerly HBO Max).”

“Sorry, I just don’t think drugs are very cool. Drugs killed my father (note: don’t mention that Drugs was the name of your neighbor’s Chinchilla).”