Your B_____ University Decision Letter
It is with great regret that we inform you that you are by far the worst applicant our university has ever seen.
Tag: School
Now Here’s MSNBC’s Steve Kornacki with Our Basic Math
It’s still early, but if the projections hold—and they should—Jimmy now sits comfortably at seven apples. Not a huge margin, but a significant one.
As President of the School of Hard Knocks, I Regret to Inform You Our Institution Is Not Accredited
Our institution has always transformed negative experiences into learning opportunities; that’s kind of our whole deal.
Top 4 Back to School Outfits That Will Make Jason from Chemistry Cream His Pants
When Jason sees you wearing this in chemistry class, he’s gonna cream his jeans so hard that the frog he’s dissecting will come back to life!
Join My WhatsApp Group for Unnecessary Updates on Our Kids’ School Bus Route
It might be a good idea to post messages after each kid is picked up so that we know that the bus has not disappeared into some space/time continuum.
What I Thought My First Year of Teaching High School Would Be Like vs. What It Was Actually Like
- O Captain! My Captain! - Please get off the desk.
A Lecture on Women’s Health at Any Medical School
Contrary to popular belief, women do not possess one utilitarian opening for all of their bathroom and reproductive functions, like ducks.
Journal Prompts Written by Me, Your Middle School Bully
Prompt 4: Do you think you’ll ever grow out of being a nerd?
My Last Thoughts as My Chair Tipped Over Backwards That One Time in 3rd Grade
Tic Tac Toe: a clever way to tell a girl you like her?
Translations of the Inspirational Quotes Posted on Facebook by Denise, a Snowplow Parent of Two Teenagers
This Maya Angelou quote means "It’s 9:00 AM, and Denise is plotting to become the next head of the PTA."
Your School District’s Superintendent Introduces His Top Ten New Substitute Teachers
Our Tallest 2nd Grader: I mean, have you seen this kid? He can even spell “tyrannosaur.” Anyway, he’ll be teaching AP Bio.
Things I Would Say to My Crush If I Woke Up Back in High School
"I didn't really think this one through. I'm stuck here in this pre-Y2K past. I now have homework again and two presentations next week!"