Are you picturing the powder keg? Think back to the last time you went out to sea and needed to bring a large amount of gunpowder.
By the time your child is in elementary school, they’ll be able to replace your basement door with a beaded curtain adorned with Grateful Dead skulls.
Looking around, all I see are duds. In the sandbox, I see toddlers who don’t even know how to use their own feet.
Dr. Ellis is not worrying about grading papers or summoning a hoard of lizard monsters for Gork the Lizard King.
“Sorry, I can’t, I’m doing drugs later with a different group of cooler kids.”
We, the Manufacturers of the “Gargantuan Gary” Action Figure, Would like to Extend Our Deepest Condolences
It is beyond comprehension to many of us at Spaz headquarters that our new eighty-foot-tall action figure could be the cause of such an accident.
Writers: Are You a Plotter, a Pantser, or Are You Plotting Revenge on the Kid Who Pantsed You in High School Gym Class?
Some write to live out a fantasy that they were never granted: revenge on Frankie Wick, who pantsed them in Ms. Dakota’s class in the 9th grade.
Come on, these kids only have so much grit before they get completely fatigued.
It is with great regret that we inform you that you are by far the worst applicant our university has ever seen.
Our goal is that incoming demons feel terrified and resentful as we prepare them for a dark future of inflicting l pain upon mortals.
It’s still early, but if the projections hold—and they should—Jimmy now sits comfortably at seven apples. Not a huge margin, but a significant one.
Our institution has always transformed negative experiences into learning opportunities; that’s kind of our whole deal.