Top Ten Tips for a Safe and Effective Fire Drill at Euphoria High School
Do not schedule the drill during prime hangover hours.
Tag: School
The Importance of Perfect Structure in the Authoring of Academic Essays
When a teacher assigns a five-paragraph essay, his or her whole class jumps for joy because this kind of essay is truly a thrill to both read and write.
For a Nominal Fee, I’ll Scream at the School Board on Your Behalf
I’ll scream your name as many times as you’d like, or, as a new feature, I’ll rip my shirt off to reveal another shirt with a picture of you screaming.
I’m an English Teacher in a Horror Movie, and These Budget Cuts Are Really Starting to Hurt
Their parents, who are never in town, don’t answer my emails, so parent-teacher conferences are as big a joke as life insurance in this town.
School Spirit Week for Our Actual School Spirit
For PE period, Mr. Smith will lead you in a round of mumblety peg, which he informs us has something to do with knife-throwing! Zany!
Psych 3000: The Psychology of Nihilistic Anger
In Unit 2, we will delve into how I’m sick of your stupid shit too, and pretty please fuck off (and thank you).
History Textbooks Updated with Uncritical Race Theory
Original: Columbus routinely captured the people living there as slaves. Corrected: Columbus brought Western values to the New World.
Rock Star Teachers, I Am So Freaking Sorry to Be Writing You a Superfluous Email but I Have a Small Favor
What do you want me to say? That I'm sorry for sending an email when your mental energy is devoted to teaching during a pandemic? I am.
Letter from the Principal: Roosevelt Middle School Teachers, Avoid These Words for a Successful School Year
Uranus: It’s a planet, but you don’t have to mention every last one. Say, “Earth, Jupiter, Saturn, Venus, Neptune, Mercury, Mars, and so on.”
Yes, I Replaced the Portico Columns with Colossal Pencils in Preparation for the First Day of School Photoshoot
I’ve got my iPhone ready to snap the most insane pictures of my kids, holding a blackboard with facts scrawled in elaborate chalk calligraphy.
Damn the Principal, the Kids Must See My Short Film
And no matter what you, other teachers, or the PTA may say, this has nothing to do with my film's complete rejection from festivals nationwide.
First Lines of Classic Novels About Professors
It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. Class had started, but half the students wouldn’t show up until 13:10.