Your Middle Schooler’s “Youth in Government” Field Trip Itinerary
After running out of per diem, your child will unwisely accept financial help from their Russian pen pal.
Tag: School
Warrior: I Voted in a Middle School Gym During a 6th Grade Basketball Game
I took an “I Voted” sticker and slapped it on. The anti-participation trophy faction in the stands booed this profusely.
Your Son Got a Sip of Dad’s Heineken and It’s Affecting His Performance in 3rd Grade
When learning how to read an analog clock. He raised his hand and guessed the time was “beer thirty.” It was 11:18 AM.
10 Back to School Alternatives for Adults
A few alternative ideas for how to return to your youthful self and satisfy the urge to get back behind the desk.
Parents, Just Fill Up the Volunteer Sign-Up Sheets and There Won’t Be Any Problems
You’re always baking anyway, what's one more batch of brownies? What about 12 extra batches?
A Kindergarten Progress Report for Myself, a 37-Year-Old Woman
Using the mantra, “Don’t be a crazy person,” Amy has presented as a competent, securely attached parent at drop-off time.
A School Supply List Teeming with Existential Dread
3 washable school "Sure, I’m sticky now, but I’ll eventually be left out to dry" glue sticks
Soliloquy from the Chair at the Bottom of the Stack
Look at me! Perfectly shaped for ass! And yet the ass does not want me.
I’m Alexander the Great’s Brother and This Reunion Sucks
No Alex was a few years behind us. I’m Allen. See my nametag? Alex is probably off expanding the limits of the Western world or something, the madman.
Last Night I Dreamt All People Joined Hands in Peace with My Old Gym Teacher
People of all nations, races, and creeds forgot their differences and grabbed hands with, randomly, my middle school gym teacher. But it totally felt normal that she was there, if that makes any sense?
Parents, Unfortunately We Are Disbanding Our School’s Curling Team
Mr. Jensen has not won eight gold medals in curling. In fact, it’s unclear whether or not Mr. Jensen has even seen curling before.
The Trick-Question Section of the Student Aptitude for Withstanding Testing Anxiety Admission Test
John feels that trick questions on standardized tests are A) Necessary, B) Vexing, C) Forgromulent, or D) A word we made up just to trick John?