When Jason sees you wearing this in chemistry class, he’s gonna cream his jeans so hard that the frog he’s dissecting will come back to life!
It might be a good idea to post messages after each kid is picked up so that we know that the bus has not disappeared into some space/time continuum.
- O Captain! My Captain! - Please get off the desk.
Contrary to popular belief, women do not possess one utilitarian opening for all of their bathroom and reproductive functions, like ducks.
Prompt 4: Do you think you’ll ever grow out of being a nerd?
Tic Tac Toe: a clever way to tell a girl you like her?
Translations of the Inspirational Quotes Posted on Facebook by Denise, a Snowplow Parent of Two Teenagers
This Maya Angelou quote means "It’s 9:00 AM, and Denise is plotting to become the next head of the PTA."
Our Tallest 2nd Grader: I mean, have you seen this kid? He can even spell “tyrannosaur.” Anyway, he’ll be teaching AP Bio.
"I didn't really think this one through. I'm stuck here in this pre-Y2K past. I now have homework again and two presentations next week!"
When I married my wife, I assumed all of her knowledge. That's how marriage works. Marriage means sharing everything.
Do not schedule the drill during prime hangover hours.
I’ll scream your name as many times as you’d like, or, as a new feature, I’ll rip my shirt off to reveal another shirt with a picture of you screaming.