There is nothing more awful, insulting, and depressing than banality. / We can’t watch Netflix if you’re already watching Netflix.
I “loved” your announcement on Facebook, and left a comment about how excited I am for you. > I find your friendship exhausting.
Explore and investigate the strange scraping sounds, trap doors in the floor, and that creepy voice that keeps whispering your name late at night.
October 28: Buy easy access costume for Halloween rape --- maybe just go as a giant penis and forgo pretense?
Drop your phone in the toilet: This makes you look cool, because every Millennial’s done it at least once in their aimless, self-serving lives.
Let’s take a look at our international weather for all you lucky ducks who’re able to afford trips without forgoing health care for two months.