In these uncertain times,

In these unprecedented times,

In these, let’s be real, horrifying times,

In these anxious, sleepless, lonely, depressing, paranoid, traumatic, hopeless times,

In these 70-year-old immunologists are daddies times,

In these gay Oklahoman tiger overlord TV star times,

In these life is an empty vessel, devoid of any true meaning and purpose times,

In these Florida what are you doing times,

In these beans are a wondrous legume, full of endless possibilities and potential just waiting to be realized times,

In these Jesus Christ it’s only day 16 times,

In these hmmm $18 JetBlue flight to Aruba but no I am the master of my own distancing discipline, a shining example of responsibility for the rest of the Internet community to learn from times,

In these I just got laid off on a Zoom call times,

In these but it’s a wonderful blessing in disguise, an escape from the greed and exploitation within corporate America and a revelation from a higher power that I need to get back to my novel times,

In these okay I’m hired back but with a 28% pay cut and no 401k matching times,

In these today is a new day, and with it comes a renewed attitude and optimism that better days are ahead times,

In these wait did this mf’er say he’s been taking it seriously all along and that it’s way more serious than the flu and that nobody could have expected it and that it will be a great victory if two hundred thousand people die Melissa turn off the news before I go apeshit on this clown times,

now more than ever it’s important to remember that we are all in this together.


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