When you first wake up, before you do anything else, take a deep breath, and realize you’re you.

Never skip breakfast since there are plenty of other healthy things you’ll skip later.

Drink enough water that you get the nerve to start telling others to drink water.

Diligently apply sunscreen as a part of your skincare routine.

Have a skincare routine.

Go on a walk or a hike, because it’s come to that.

Regularly visit your doctor more than your potential.

Learn new things, like hemorrhoids.

Live life to the fullest by watching documentaries about it.

Feel comfortable in your own skin because it’s a little more saggy now.

Laugh heartily at cultural references you are not familiar with.

Go to an Apple Store and speak with someone.

Master the art of making excuses for not mastering the art of something.

Work on being more adventurous and petty.

Quit smoking cigarettes just like you quit all those other things you wanted to do in life.

Strengthen your core by weakening your shell to make the core seem strong in comparison.

Fall in love so hard you tear an ACL.

Force yourself to bathe.

Spice things up with a terrific backsplash in the kitchen.

Stay in shape by working out… in your head that the couch is the perfect shape for you.

Dance like no one’s watching because that’s how it’s gonna be from now on.

Add omega-3 fats to all your other fats.

Go see live music and throw out your back.

Super charge your physique and self-confidence by inhabiting a different person’s body.

Improve your posture by building a time machine.

Get a pet snake but realize it’s the skin on your arm.

Be sure to get plenty of sleep.


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