So what, you’re stuck at home during a global pandemic. You know what Willy Shakespeare did in your shoes? He fucking wrote King Lear. And maybe you’re not a “writer” or even able to “sleep through the night” but there are plenty of things you can accomplish in unending hours amount of time.

Paint a Fresco – Sure the prep list is a bitch and wet lime plaster is a bear of a medium, but can you think of a better time to tackle what Michelangelo called his “slippery lil obsession”? You have the time, you probably have the ceiling, unless you’ve been moved to a tent on the deck of a Princess cruise ship, so why not make something that will last millennia?

Fuck Around and Make Cold Fusion – You know that shimmering vision of energy utopia that has been teasing the finest scientists for years? This is your chance. We all know that a glass of water holds enough energy to power the universe for like a bajillion years, we just need someone brave enough to do it. That could be you. Just stick some wires in there, explode a lightbulb, figure it out.

Discover a Way to Have Zoom Happy Hour Without Everyone Taking Over Each Other – LOL. Yeah right! This is a pandemic, not some rainbow lollipop fantasy island where dreams are farted from unicorns!!!

Cure the Rona – It’s a little on the nose, but so was King Lear, right? After all, everyone you know will soon have Coronavirus, including you. You know what plays better than liking that news on Twitter? A cure! It’s the little glass vial that everyone wants. You could be known forever as the Corona King. Just order some masks and other sciencey stuff on Amazon and be a hero.

Make Contact Within Intelligent Space Life – Seriously. We could use the help.

Record a Song Cycle – Time to tune up that guitar and pull down the old notebook. In times of strife, what we need is the dulcet balm of sweet music. Bono gets it. There are so many gimmies out there. “I wanna hold ya, right after you’re tested for co-to-NA!” “Take my hand, take my whole glove, too.” It goes on and on. Like this month.

Go Easy on Yourself and Feel Your Feelings – This is an unprecedented moment in history and so it’s ok to just sit with that and take it one day at a time… if you want to die in a pauper’s grave having NOT written one of the best plays ever! Get. Off. Your. Ass.