CAPABLE

SEEMINGLY INCAPABLE

Driving a 3,400 pound vehicle, including safely making lane changes, parallel parking, geolocating, and selecting music
 

Putting away clean dishes
 

Building a computer, including selecting, purchasing and assembling all components
 

Finding scissors
 

Concocting fake vomit, including selecting of believable cracker and dog food ingredients
 

Flossing

Covertly obtaining and consuming intoxicants
 

Using the stovetop
 

Coordinating and implementing first person shooter strategy and tactics
 

Separating laundry
 

Managing complex gift card balances and submitting timely replenishment requests
 

Cleaning eyeglasses
 

Supporting fast food and fast casual venues, including management of guest list and payment terms
 

Feeding the dog
 

Managing classroom deadlines, including handling of complex extension requests
 

Bringing dirty plates downstairs
 

Procuring adequate stock of carbonated beverages and bite-snack snack items
 

Taking out trash
 

Managing time and attendance requirements for evening and weekend gaming tournaments
 

Waking to an alarm on school days
 

 


Follow PIC on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or good ol' fashioned email.
Get coaching or feedback on your comedy writing from our editors.