Funny Lists

Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes

Useful Quarantine Words in Other Languages

Ordemazão (Brazilian Portuguese) - Ordering a week's worth of pad see ew from the local Thai restaurant in order to meet their delivery minimum.

There is nothing more awful, insulting, and depressing than banality. / We can’t watch Netflix if you’re already watching Netflix.

No, you can’t go get a few toys. Last time you left them lying around and I had to clean them up. / Here, can I just… let me help you.

No Time to Die / I Don’t Wanna Die / Nobody Needs to Die, Here / Why Do You Have a Gun / You've Got the Wrong Person, Maybe

In these unprecedented times, / In these, let’s be real, horrifying times, / In these gay Oklahoman tiger overlord TV star times,

Paint a Fresco - Sure the prep list is a bitch and wet lime plaster is a bear of a medium, but can you think of a better time to tackle the job?

Derek Kan - Can make a train in the bedroom run on time. / Anthony Fauci - This silver fox has a lot of time now that Grey’s Anatomy isn’t filming.

Live life to the fullest by watching documentaries about it. / Feel comfortable in your own skin because it’s a little more saggy now.

CAPABLE: Coordinating and implementing first person shooter strategy and tactics / SEEMINGLY INCAPABLE: Separating laundry

Be too into board games, James / Finally say how you really feel, Neil / Act like a slob, Rob / Cut them out of the will, Bill

“Live, Laugh, Love” in Cursive: Are you a human or the wall clock I bought from the Home Goods clearance section?