The Psychological Markers of Stress, Hierarchy, and Proximity: An Unintentional Replication of the Stanford Prison Experiment in My Apartment Under Lockdown

“Zoom”ing in from the Panopticon: Foucauldian Surveillance, Neoliberal Technocapitalism, and the Ethics of Professors Reading the Private Chats of Students Sent During Online Lectures

To Bleach or Not to Bleach: A Public Health Reading of Shakespearean Tragedies

The Effects of Pandemic-Induced Labor Surpluses on the Employment Prospects of New Graduates in Economics: A Bleak Analysis

Howling Into the Void: A New Composition Inspired by Global Balcony Performances of 2020 (for Hand Claps, Ukulele, and Wolves)

Dancing Alone, Procrastinating Together: A Sociological Interrogation of TikTok, or Why I Didn’t Finish My Major Requirements

A Infinite Markov Chain Model of the Idempotent Probability of Graduating in This of All Years

Contagious Advertising? Infectious Merchandising? Symptomatic Propaganda? An Exploration of Recently Failed Rebrands of “Viral Marketing”

Dissecting the Role of DC47 in Development of Drosophila melanogaster (a.k.a. No, Mom, I’m Not a Doctor Yet, and This Won’t Help Them Develop a Vaccine Any Faster)

On Recognizing the Futility of Grading Harshly in the End Times: An Application of Pedagogical Theory and Plea to the Distinguished Dr. Preston, Professor of Education

I Can No Longer Be the One Who Knocks: A Case Study (n=1) in Giving Up on Political Campaigning to Rewatch Breaking Bad

How to Survive Having Chosen to Research the History of the 1918 Flu Epidemic for Months

*No evidence has been found of the submission of a thesis in Computer Science or Engineering; evidently, each of these students was too busy juggling high-paying, full-time, remote job offers.