College | Points in Case

Tag: College

Why is everyone taking this so seriously? Don’t let anyone see you almost cry after two rounds of this warm-up or you’ll get pegged as whiney.

My dream came so close to fruition my senior year in college, when my roommate Jim and I started a “pop-thresh garage-inflected post-grunge” band.

I harbor serious doubts whether Gillibrand has the fortitude, charisma, hunkiness, and vertical leap necessary to win the electoral college.

Within the first thirty seconds, there is a close-up of a microphone. This quickly establishes that this is a singing movie, about big singers.

From: Mike PenceGracious Lord White Jesus, thank you for Chick-Fil-A. A family-friendly chicken restaurant that never uses the word “brea*t.”

Don't go to church on Sunday? You might as well be drinking abortions out of a fancy wine glass made of Regan’s bones.

Authorities surveying the emotional carnage claimed they had never before seen such an outpouring of weaponized kindness and aggressive friendship.

Every snowstorm, I was out in my front yard. That is your duty as a child in America. These snowflakes need to buck up and make a fucking snowman.

Now that you’ve sufficiently tortured your sweet angel for the past hour, make him watch as you make your own macaroni artwork.

I’m sorry I climbed a utility pole outside during halftime to hang a handmade flag with my team’s logo.