1. Thinks insufficiently deferential youth should be denied participation in government.

2. Primary news source is a clown with an agenda.

3. Poor understanding of how government is supposed to work brings a bastard uncomfortably close to absolute power.

4. Shows an unhealthy fondness for someone named Regan.

5. Shows an unhealthy fondness for someone named Reagan.

6. Incorrectly surmises that splitting their country into two irreconcilable factions will make it great.

7. Enlists wealthy patrons and foreign governments to intervene against their children's interests.

8. Rants about corruption even after handing control of the country to its most corrupt denizens.

9. Wanders outside during period of widespread danger to shout opinions of varying coherence at imperiled bystanders.

10. Probably a good idea to dismiss at least 75% of the things they say.

11. Precipitates a completely preventable catastrophe that kills their children.

12. Future generations see name as synonymous with unremitting bleakness.

13. Political philosophy is indistinguishable from dementia.


King Lear: 1-4, 6-13
Average Boomer: 1-3, 5-10, likely 11, 12-13


Like, share or comment on Twitter:


Follow PIC on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or good ol' fashioned email.
Get coaching or feedback on your comedy writing from our editors.