Film Corporation Oligarchs Decide All-White Film “More Okay” If There Are British People in It

Netflix Flirts With Idea of White Devil through WWII Germany but Ultimately Decides Germans “Too Hot” to Really Villainize

New Film Perfectly Captures the Relatable Experience of a Love-Stricken Bourgeois London Girl Who Receives a Letter From Complete Stranger on Remote Channel Island, Whom She Subsequently Comes to Love, Despite Poverty

Textbook Publishers Actually Not Too Upset That Everyone Decided to Call It “The Great War” Instead of “World War I”

UC Berkeley Psychologists Find 9 in 10 Americans Think Bad Acting OK If Actor Is “Like, Super Hot”

“Do You Really Care About Feminism, or Do You Just Want to Watch Preposterously Hot Men Fight in a Smoky Pub for No Apparent Reason?” Ask Film Consultants in Recent Market Study

“Assertive grandmother figure ultimately overshadowed by creepy Christian innkeeper––to bad!” Tweets U.S. President Donald J. Trump During Coronavirus Pandemic, Referring to The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society

Director Decides Girthy Handshake Between Strong American Dude and Bookish British Man “Should Be Enough to Please the Fa– I Mean Queers,” Wondering If They Still Call Themselves That

“I’m Older Than Time, and I Understand Nothing!” Sobs Character in Her 60’s, Reiterating the Imminent Feeling of Helplessness Probably Caused By Depression

Netflix Throws Hot American Soldier into Cast of New British Film, Hoping You’re OK With the U.S. Military Industrial Complex

Getting 19 Drone Shots of Wet British Cliffs Definitely Not How Cameraman Expected to Spend Career After Attending “Prestigious” School

Amazon Algorithms Confused Why Customer Wants Velvet Elbow Length Gloves Instead of Medical Gloves During Pandemic

Invisible Hand Worried Because Google Searches for “Writer Salary 2020” at All-Time High After This Movie’s Premiere

Characters in This Movie Decided It’s Okay Not to Contact an Orphan’s Only Living Relatives, Just Because They Really Wanted to Keep Her