List: Real Biblical Quotes for Straight People Playing Gay Characters
Mark 4:12: "You, my son, hath the chiseled physique of a Philistine and the facial features of a young King David. They will not care."
Tag: Acting
Antifa Job Postings, According to Republicans
Have experience with peaceful protesting but want to take it to the NEXT LEVEL? Often described as "the last person someone would suspect of being a criminal"?
List: Pill Bottle Instructions for Unhinged Protagonist
DIRECTIONS: Take 2 tablets directly from bottle, and 3rd that spilled on rug. Take irregularly and at moments of peak stress.
List: Articles That Should Have Been Published in Response to Netflix’s “The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society”
"Netflix Throws Hot American Soldier into Cast of New British Film, Hoping You're OK With the U.S. Military Industrial Complex"
Eating for the Stage and Screen
Everyone, take a look at Paula. Notice the thousand-yard stare in her eyes as she chews? See how she’s chewing on just the one side of her mouth?
Oscar Presenters: Stop Reading Your Lines!
Your profession revolves around memorizing lines, making them believable, and delivering them to casting directors, audiences, and law enforcement.
List: Guidelines for Hot, White Male Protagonists in Made-For-TV Holiday Movies
Flaky GPS will accidentally lead him to shithole town’s all too familiar old bar, where he'll bump into the one that got away.
My Dad Is a “Black Mirror” Episode
As you might expect, my dad is incredibly excited about this new chapter in his life. He’s been preparing for it for almost 50 years.
Open Letter from the Fake Socially Conscious Advertiser
I think you are so unintelligent that I can change your opinion on something like a fannypack by creating a commercial that depicts trendy values.
Help! Prince Charming Really Just Method Actor
Our first date was straight out of a rom-com. Like, literally! He took me to Fenway Park, just like in Fever Pitch.
To Thank LeBron James for His Brave Defense of China, We Will Be Forcing All of Our Political Prisoners to Watch “Space Jam 2”
I only hope that our political prisoners will love the movie as much as LeBron loves the money he'll get from it.
A Referee Job Description, Written by the Coach Whose Team Lost the Youth Basketball Championship
This is a flexible position, in that you can decide when you are going to do any damn work even though you’re getting paid for it.