It's been an outstanding year of comedy! For the first time ever (we're shy), we decided to round up our favorite articles from 2023. We're proud of everything we've run this year, but these 16 pieces have stuck with us. Thanks for all the laughs and if you could, leave the light on when you're done reading (we're afraid of the dark).

Here's to 2023 more years of humor!

kid eats watermelon

Ways I Imagined I Might Die When I Was a Kid

by Anthony DeThomas  |  Jan 5, 2023

PIC "Best of 2023" Award“I’m peer pressured into listening to explicit music and soon get placed in a lower reading group at school. I fall in with a bad crowd and get really into skateboarding, which is basically dying.”

murderer and the intellectuals

Just Because You Have Issues and I'm Murdering You Doesn't Make This “Elevated Horror”

by Pat Cassels  |  Feb 21, 2023

PIC "Best of 2023" Award“Look, I’m sorry you have broader personal or political issues you haven’t resolved, but those have nothing to do with the ways I’ve been killing you guys.”

dr hyde and mr jekyll

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Jekyll

by Dan Caprera  |  Mar 6, 2023

PIC "Best of 2023" Award“It was only then that I realized what I had created. My hellish elixir did not separate ‘good' and ‘evil.' No. It had a far more-sinister purpose: It separated ‘Doctor' and ‘Non-Doctor.'”

korean poker cards

How to Play Korean Poker

by Jennifer Kim  |  Mar 13, 2023

PIC "Best of 2023" Award“I guess the only semi-important part about the flags is that if you get all of them, you’re committing treason against the Republic of South Korea.”

astronaut sexy alien va va voom

Aliens Exist… and They’re Freaking Babes

by Matt Corluka  |  May 10, 2023

PIC "Best of 2023" Award“But then I remember the thorax on a Venutian… Atheists say there are no higher powers, but the first time you see a Neptoid’s sponges you’ll realize atheists don’t know shit.”

god party!

The Book of Genesis, If God Was Creating a Party

by Youmna Chamieh  |  May 26, 2023

PIC "Best of 2023" Award“God called the DJ ‘My buddy who works in finance,' and the booth He called “open to whoever wants to DJ.” But everyone who wanted to DJ also worked in finance.”

jury with a happy guy!

I Consider This Jury My Friends

by Dave Anderson  |  Jun 1, 2023

PIC "Best of 2023" Award“Could you go home to your partners tonight and tell them, ‘Honey, today I looked an innocent man in his eyes and told him I didn’t enjoy his company. I would rather see a man executed than be extroverted!'”

noir man

An Excerpt from “Dead Guy Avenue,” My Hardboiled Detective Novel Where the Narrator Can’t Really Remember What Happened

by Lucas Gardner  |  Jun 14, 2023

PIC "Best of 2023" Award“I was just about to leave my office for the night when my assistant told me a young dame was waiting out in the lobby to see me. I want to say the dame’s name was Sally. Or maybe ‘Soupy'? It can’t have been Soupy.”

tall guy concert

I'm the Tall Guy Blocking Your View at a Concert, Here's What I Want You to Know

by Leah Chin-Sang  |  Jul 1, 2023

PIC "Best of 2023" Award“You Have the Privilege of Seeing the Back of My Head: I’ve been told that the back of my head is so soft, it’s like those $10 holiday blankets you get at Target.”

kid yelling!!

I'm 10 Now, Which Means I'm the Biggest Little Bitch on This Playground

by Lily Blumkin  |  Jul 7, 2023

PIC "Best of 2023" Award“I can tie my own shoes and cut my own food and tell time on a clock after I stare at it for a while, just like a REAL adult. So yeah, I think I’ve earned the right to dunk on every single one of you freaks.”

it's the lads

Introducing Men 2, the Gender for Men

by Lillie Franks  |  Jul 10, 2023

PIC "Best of 2023" Award“Do you like cracking open a COLD CAN OF BEER around the BBQ with the boys? Not anymore! That sissy junk is for MEN, not real men, who aren’t men anymore! They’re MEN 2!”

business guy looking out the window

Why I, a 1960s Business Man Having an Affair, Believe Everyone Needs to Return to Office

by Carly Silverman  |  Jul 11, 2023

PIC "Best of 2023" Award“Leave your family at home—the office provides us with the much-needed boundary to separate your work from your home. Things must be separate. Elouise mustn’t know about what you do in the filthy filthy city.”

toilet in a nice lil cabin

Stop! Please Read These Very Specific Instructions Before Using Our Toilet!

by J. Taylor Lee  |  Aug 10, 2023

PIC "Best of 2023" Award“All toilet paper must be disposed of via the incinerator. It’s at the neighbor’s place. Just knock and say you’ve got TP to burn. Please be ready to prove that the paper is indeed soiled.”

nuclear plant -- cool!!!

Google Maps Reviews of the Prickleback Nuclear Testing Facility in Sopps-Daisy, Tennessee

by Augusta Chapman  |  Aug 16, 2023

PIC "Best of 2023" Award“they treat employees HORRIBLE. the breaks are super short and all the staff are sleeping together usually in these pod things in the back. it’s gross, really bad culture and I hate getting pod slime on me.”

pop up ads over a picture of toast

The Ultimate Best Toastiest Toast Recipe of ALL Time, Seriously, by à la Katie

by Mark Carlson  |  Nov 1, 2023

PIC "Best of 2023" Award“I know you didn’t come here just because you’re hungry or time-pressed to make a quick snack for your kids who are currently gnawing on each other’s legs. You came here to read a Les Mis-length exposition on a one-step recipe from an expert in rural boho chic.”

a dad and a baby

I’d Like to Have Kids, but I’m Not Sure It’s Ethical to Bring Children into a World Where Their Dad Would Be Me

by Simon Henriques  |  Nov 6, 2023

PIC "Best of 2023" Award“Kids deserve to grow up happy and healthy, excited about the future, without having to live under the constant threat that their dad is weird and sad and underemployed again.”