Thanks for Giving Me the Exact Compliment I Definitely Wasn’t Fishing For
I was wondering aloud if my hair looked hideous and ratty like an overstuffed wasp nest. I didn’t even think you heard my medium-quiet whisper!
Lily Blumkin is a Brooklyn-based comedy writer, improviser, and sketch comedian. She is currently working as the Writers' Assistant at The Daily Show with Trevor Noah and she's been told that her dating profile had "a lot of personality."
I was wondering aloud if my hair looked hideous and ratty like an overstuffed wasp nest. I didn’t even think you heard my medium-quiet whisper!
We don’t want to shame you, especially during a month as joyous as Pride. We celebrate all our bankers, bankettes, and bank-theys.
It is so rude to fall asleep during a meeting. It’s like we get it, you “have a life,” you don’t need to rub it in.
I saw a kid wearing a shirt that says “cousins make the best friends.” Great job to those parents for telling the world your kid has no friends.
I suffer from a disease called “resting approachable face.” It’s like “resting bitch face” but instead of people thinking I’m upset, they think I’d be willing to take a picture of their family.