Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes
Classic Children’s Books for Marxist Tykes
Goodnight Moon, Good Morning Historical Materialism – Goodnight conflict theory. Goodnight modes of production. Goodnight lumpenproletariat.
Funny Lists
The PDX Protest Festival Lineup
A rundown of all the groups scheduled to appear at Portland's nightly protest, including Average Wife Band and They Might Be Half-Brothers.
Is This a Cake?
Your partner, a pastry chef, left the mail out. There’s an unopened envelope from your credit card company. The envelope is thick. Is this a cake?
TV Shows from the Middle Ages Not Picked Up After Their Pilots
Hung, Drawn, and Quartered - Contestants sketch public executions, and the contestant with the worst drawing each week is in turn sentenced to death.
Disney World’s Reopening Guidelines Amid COVID-19
Donald Duck will wear a mask, but still no pants. / All t-shirts reading “I Survived The Tower of Terror!” have been reprinted to read “I Survived!”
Which Quarantine Type Are You: Health Nut, Couch Potato, or 19th Century Working-Class British Child, Based on My Impression from BBC Period Dramas?
I’ve stayed in touch with friends by… A) Hosting non-alcoholic Zoom happy hours. B) FaceTiming an ex at 2AM. C) Spitting peas at my chum’s window.
Are You Being Tortured by a Drug Cartel or Getting Invisalign?
$5,000 barely scratches the surface of what it’ll take to handle this problem. / Your family won’t recognize you when this is over.
From the TweetDeck of Captain Blackbeard
I became captain on my own, no help from Ushkuiniks. / Poorly rated Captain Kidd speaking badly of me. Then how come he’s always ogling my ships!!
Surprising New Rules for Major League Baseball’s COVID-19 Season
If both opponents' Designated Epidemiologists agree that it will aid in player immunity, MLB will allow injections of anabolic steroids.
Are You a Mask Wearer, a Non-Mask Wearer, or Darth Vader?
When do you take your mask off? A) Whenever I feel like it. I am making America great. B) Only once, to look on my son with my own eyes.
Times Throughout History When Brands Stepped Up to Help the World Around Them
Revolutionary War Zimmer's Fine Coats and Upholstery: I should hope that you wish to don thineself with a coat containing pigments that do not run.
New York Times Bestsellers of Recently Rediscovered Literature
OF DEITIES OR MORTALS by Ernest Hemingway | Ivory Shattered men fall in love with damaged women while dozens of animals die in the process.