1. What sort of fashion statement does your mask make?

  1. This is about a deadly pandemic killing hundreds of thousands of Americans. But ok, yes, I ordered some fashionable masks on Etsy. No reason not to look good.
  2. It totally cramps my style. I want everyone to see my nose at all times, even when I pretend to wear a mask at the grocery store.
  3. My mask is black. I have a killer black outfit. Plus, I get to wear a cape!

2. When do you take your mask off?

  1. When I’m on a nature walk, when I’m home, when I’m in my car.
  2. Whenever I feel like it. I am making America great. I don’t need a damn mask.
  3. Only once, to look on my son with my own eyes.

3. Why do you wear the mask, and what are your views about life support?

  1. I wear the mask to protect others in the community from dying during a pandemic. It helps decrease my risk a bit too. I really hope I don’t catch COVID and need life support.
  2. I don’t wear a mask. What does life support have to do with anything? Is this a trick question?
  3. I got the mask because I need it for life support after I burst into flames following a light saber battle with Obi-Wan Kenobi on a volcanic planet.

4. How does your mask affect your breathing?

  1. I can breathe through my mask just fine. Doctors and healthcare workers wear them all the time and do the same.
  2. You can’t breathe through a mask. Period. People were even holding up signs saying something like “I can’t breathe.” And they're some of the same idiots who want everyone to wear masks!
  3. I grow tired of answering this, so it will be the last time: I need my mask to breathe. I find your lack of PPE disturbing.

5. Do 5G towers affect the mask in some way?

  1. Umm no.
  2. Yes, aren’t you paying attention? 5G, pedophiles, and pizza are why the deep state tries to force us to wear them.
  3. In my galaxy, we don’t have 5G towers. But sometimes I do get fuzzy transmission going through asteroid fields.

6. Should children wear masks?

  1. Yes, they do all around the world. If we model good behavior, and encourage our kids to wear them, then they will.
  2. Only on Halloween.
  3. Luke and Leia and I were social distancing before it was a thing. But I knew my grandson from the time that little psychopath was born. And yes, Kylo wears a mask. He also likes to play with my old mangled mask.

7. Are you from the Dark Side?

  1. I’ve got a t-shirt with Princess Leia on it that says “We are the Resistance.” Ok, and another one that says “Leia Organa for President,” but that one was a joke. Kind of.
  2. Yes. We have cookies.
  3. Join me…. With our combined strength, we can end this COVID… and bring order to the galaxy.

If you answered:

Mostly A: Go you! You wear a mask like a considerate person. If you're taking the quiz in another country (or on Alderaan), you're just considered “normal.” Tell your sister you were right.

Mostly B: Your thoughts betray you. Unfortunately, you are neither a Sith Lord, nor a citizen of the world. You might live in Florida. Put on a damn mask and repeat the quiz.

Mostly C: Congratulations, you are a true Lord of the Sith! Depending on which movie you're in, you might: seem good but be on the verge of turning evil; be evil; be back to being a good ghost. Keep wearing your mask!


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