Weekly funny lists for readers on the go. Quizzes
Silicon Valley Startup or the Hårga, the Pagan Cult from Midsommar?
They swear they make some sort of product here, but all you see is a lot of eating, prancing, and day drinking.
Funny Lists
What the World War II Movie Your Father Wants You to Watch Together Says About Your Relationship
The Bridge on the River Kwai – Your dad thinks you should stand up to your boss at work. You say he’s a fathead, right?
Your County’s Updated Re-Opening Plan
Stage 3d: CDC advises to pick whichever conflicting news article or random blog post best matches your level of paranoia or recklessness.
NYC Department of Health Recommended Sex Positions for COVID-19
The Bronx Bondage – Tie your partner up, and just leave them there. Nothing is hotter than the anticipation. We condone being a tease.
Veiled Muslim Woman or Woman Wearing a Face Mask During a Pandemic?
Unsure if fogless sunglasses are a thing. / Expects to walk past a construction site without being catcalled.
John McClane’s Recent Thoughts on Defunding the Police
Do you know what you get for being a “hero”? Nothin'. So you might as well find a job that doesn't involve terrorizing low-income communities.
Ways to Reform the Agitated Bear in the Center of Town
We will ensure the bear sits through an hour of sensitivity training that contradicts the lifetime of violent impulses it has acquired.
Itemized Police Budget Report for June 2020
Bespoke Tom Ford rapid response tactical outerwear - $475,000 / “Good cop, bad cop” improv lessons - $36,000 / Body camera software updates - $3.50
How to Torture Your Dad into Telling You What He Wants for Father’s Day
Surprise him by mowing the lawn. Devastate him by ignoring mowing best practices and race around in a pattern as erratic as his spiking heart rate.
Conversations I’d Rather Have Than the One Where We Talk About How Quarantine Has Made Us Lose Track of What Day It Is
The one where I try to explain to my conservative step-father who doesn’t see color that calling protestors "thugs" is racist.
7 Radically Different Things You Can Do Outside During a Pandemic
Strutting is like strolling but you're more posed and thoughtful. Pretend you're a woman in any 1950's film, that's strutting.
Pill Bottle Instructions for Unhinged Protagonist
DIRECTIONS: Take 2 tablets directly from bottle, and 3rd that spilled on rug. Take irregularly and at moments of peak stress.