1. Once you reach a certain age, you’ll be told to take a flying leap.
2. They swear they make some sort of product here, but all you see is a lot of eating, prancing, and day drinking.
3. The organization’s campus is designed to discourage leaving.
4. You are surrounded by white people microdosing and writing about their experience.
5. The walls are covered in murals with themes of productivity and collective consciousness.
6. Mating within the community is encouraged.
7. No one seems concerned about the group’s suspiciously high “churn rate.”
8. Umm… has anyone seen the newcomers lately? I’m pretty sure we had foreign interns at one point….
9. Because of an extremely popular outdoor music festival, the women can make impeccable flower crowns without a YouTube tutorial.
10. Information about your peers’ sex lives is uncomfortably public.
11. If you try to abscond with the group’s intellectual property, they will bring down the hammer.
12. The holiday party features a dance off that everyone takes way too seriously.
13. Under the guise of team building, someone will pressure you into doing psychedelic drugs in a yurt.
14. You’re wasted, and the guy next to you won’t shut up about the “sharing economy.”
15. The leaders insist on adding game elements, and that’s when things take a really dark turn.
16. The men and women are often segregated by their roles.
17. You were promised radical empathy. What you get is trauma.
18. If you cross the wrong person, expect to be “fired” in a very public ceremony.